Monday, February 2, 2009

consumerism wow: SHIRTCORE

Maynard Tee, from kidrobot x Frank Kozik. And, okay, I take issue with the yuppie-punk popart trend manifested in brands like kidrobot and artists like Kozik. On the one reverse-French–manicured hand, I like a lot of the sensibilities involved: bold graphics and colors, DIY encouragement, and subversions of classic styles and the ultra-cute media we children of the 80's grew up with. On the other, exactly how subversive is a $140 limited-edition hoodie with built-in iPod pocket & headphone loop? I'm glad that this kind of art is getting airplay and that these kinds of artists are making money, but it's the collectible equivalent of being served a Peep riddled with solid gold buckshot -- tasty and luxurious, but you've gotta ask yourself why. But hey, shirt! This is a shirt for people who are HARDCORE. It has a BULLET. That bullet is SMORKIN'. Men's sizes only (why you gots to be like that, kidrobot?). Printed with shiny foil! Shirt is $50 and ships via UPS (though if you buy another $5.01-worth of stuff, shipping is free).

High Five, by Chris Hastings, who, yes, still does The Adventures of Dr. McNinja. [I didn't realize that I was repeating one of my previously featured shirt creators until after I wrote most of this. It is not my fault that all of his shirts are awesome!] I have unintentionally made this set HARDCORE-themed. This theme will perhaps not be apparent to you if you have never seen Jaws, Discovery Channel's Shark Week, or King Kong, or if you haven't read Michael Crichton's Congo [the movie version is dead to me, Bruce Campbell or no], or if you never learned that once an action sequence starts, everything has the potential -- nay, the responsibility -- to suddenly and violently explode, preferably with guitars wailin' in the background. Family Guy knows what I'm talkin' 'bout. Men's sizes come in a choice of blue or cardinal for $18, and women's in blue only for $20. Ships via your choice of USPS or UPS.

Petra Ad Infinitum, by Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins, aka Gabe & Tycho, of Penny Arcade. Okay, this one is about a different kind of hardcore: hardcore rocking. It's about rocking forever, in fact, if the bad Latin inscription is to be believed. It's about seeing a million faces, and rocking all of them. (Dudes, that's a lot of faces.) This t-shirt is not-so-secretly talking about Rock Band, which is pretty much the best video game ever because it encourages your friends to get drunk, wail on pretend instruments, and sing along with the music they listened to when they were 13. (I'm sure that some people would use this same argument to posit that Rock Band is the worst video game ever, but those people are not hardcore and therefore extraneous to this discussion.) Shirt is $17.99 and ships via your choice of USPS or UPS.

p.s. I used the verb "wail" twice in this post! Party on, Wayne!

p.p.s. I received my Love is Blind shirt in the mail last week, and will post pictures soon. The fit is odd but not unlikeable!


Mommy Melee said...

Your shirt reviews are my favorite thing on the planet right now.

Also my word verification is "prowne"


Adam P. Knave said...

I do love that high-five shirt, I must admit.

We need to make sweetass tshirts.

the grammar monkey said...

MM: Nothing will ever be better than the "boner" word verification. It is the one word verification to rule them all.

And Adam, we DO need to make sweetass shirts. Maybe not sweet tea shirts, which is how I originally read that.