So this one time I co-wrote a comic book script, and my co-author Adam P. Knave enlisted artist Eamon Dougherty to illustrate it, and Monkeybrain Comics decided that they wanted to publish it, and so this is a thing that exists:
That's a relatively short sentence, and it's a relatively short comic, but the creative process was enormously long. I wrote a bit about it, in a convoluted way, back in my February 2010 post "the writing process as it relates to interdimensional kittens and moneyhats".
I love this book, and I'm so pleased (and a little bemused) that it's a real digital thing now. It's about a team of cats (yep, just regular ol' cats) who sometimes save the world.
I'm pretty sure Adam & I came up with the idea while discussing this Consumerism Wow post on the phone. (tl;dr shortcut: Scroll to Thingy #9.) (Also, hey look, I accidentally predicted nyancat in that post. Huh.)
Action Cats is an all-ages appropriate, 23-page one-shot.* If you'd like to read it, it's just $0.99 on ComiXology. Who kindly invited us to be on the ComiXologist podcast the week that the book premiered.
We've gotten lovely reviews from Tatiana Christian at Comics Crux and Brad Pike at Thought Catalog (who forgot I exist but wrote such nice things that I like him anyway), plus, as of today, 45 excellent humans on ComiXology. Note to all y'all: Thanks so much to every single one of you for reading -- and especially for enjoying!
If you're not among them but you enjoy comics (or cats, or jetpack shenanigans), give it a chance?
*FOR NOW.
Showing posts with label geekery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label geekery. Show all posts
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Sunday, November 27, 2011
while I was out
Ohai. This blog still exists.
My editing gig at How Stuff Works has been kicking my ass -- mostly all in ways that I love -- and between that, freelance editing, and general laziness, I haven't had much motivation to actually use this blog in the past, what, six months? I haven't even been writing on paper. It's seemed too much like work.
Which is really just an entirely lame point of view to embrace. Creation is work, but it's fabulous work. It's the kind of work that makes this whole silly Universe a worthwhile place to hang out in. So ohai, readers. Here are a few things that I've been working on while I was out:
Articles on sundry things, such as How Megalodon Worked, How a Supernova Works, and How Coffins Work among many others. I get to learn about new things every week and source bizarre images and do grammar every day and work with ridiculously intelligent people, and when it's not overwhelming it's the most fun I've had at a day job.
Christopher Buecheler's sequel to The Blood That Bonds, Blood Hunt. And bits from the third book in the trilogy, The Children of the Sun, which I am studiously not linking because all of the parts of the Internet that pertain to it involve spoilers for the first two books. I do recommend editing nonfiction by day and a vampire novel during your off hours, should you happen to have the editing skills and sense of masochism for it. It blends realities in ways that'll make you research historical details for the novel and expect exciting fight scenes in the nonfiction, and probably improve both ventures in the end.
Creative assistance and moral support for a couple of live-action role-playing games (LARPs) that some dear friends run in the Atlanta area, Legynds and Second Dawn. Which is partially unavoidable given that I'm dating one of the owners, and is partially self-prescribed therapy for my wacky anxiety. Which is another thing I recommend -- erm, the self-prescribed LARP therapy, not the anxiety. It's a relatively safe environment in which to experiment with social interaction and performance: Most everyone there will be just as awkward as you or at least sympathetic. And some of them will be dressed as orcs.
And this is not a thing I've been working on, but because I like posting pictures:

More stuff about things later -- but in fewer than six months this time, I promise.
My editing gig at How Stuff Works has been kicking my ass -- mostly all in ways that I love -- and between that, freelance editing, and general laziness, I haven't had much motivation to actually use this blog in the past, what, six months? I haven't even been writing on paper. It's seemed too much like work.
Which is really just an entirely lame point of view to embrace. Creation is work, but it's fabulous work. It's the kind of work that makes this whole silly Universe a worthwhile place to hang out in. So ohai, readers. Here are a few things that I've been working on while I was out:
Articles on sundry things, such as How Megalodon Worked, How a Supernova Works, and How Coffins Work among many others. I get to learn about new things every week and source bizarre images and do grammar every day and work with ridiculously intelligent people, and when it's not overwhelming it's the most fun I've had at a day job.
Christopher Buecheler's sequel to The Blood That Bonds, Blood Hunt. And bits from the third book in the trilogy, The Children of the Sun, which I am studiously not linking because all of the parts of the Internet that pertain to it involve spoilers for the first two books. I do recommend editing nonfiction by day and a vampire novel during your off hours, should you happen to have the editing skills and sense of masochism for it. It blends realities in ways that'll make you research historical details for the novel and expect exciting fight scenes in the nonfiction, and probably improve both ventures in the end.
Creative assistance and moral support for a couple of live-action role-playing games (LARPs) that some dear friends run in the Atlanta area, Legynds and Second Dawn. Which is partially unavoidable given that I'm dating one of the owners, and is partially self-prescribed therapy for my wacky anxiety. Which is another thing I recommend -- erm, the self-prescribed LARP therapy, not the anxiety. It's a relatively safe environment in which to experiment with social interaction and performance: Most everyone there will be just as awkward as you or at least sympathetic. And some of them will be dressed as orcs.
And this is not a thing I've been working on, but because I like posting pictures:

More stuff about things later -- but in fewer than six months this time, I promise.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
re: your brains (Zombiesque!)
My dear, bebearded friend Laszlo Xalieri, who formerly guest-starred in this textual/pixelated adventure of mine as a lecturer at the Atlanta Zombie Symposium, has a story in a newly published book of short fictions written from zombies' points of view.

It's called Zombiesque, and it's available on Amazon for only $7.99, and you need something new to read. (You always need something new to read. No matter how many unread books you already have cluttering your bookshelves/other horizontal home surface areas. Don't argue, you'll risk giving me a catastrophic paradigm shift proportionate to the number of pages in all of my unread books combined.)

It's called Zombiesque, and it's available on Amazon for only $7.99, and you need something new to read. (You always need something new to read. No matter how many unread books you already have cluttering your bookshelves/other horizontal home surface areas. Don't argue, you'll risk giving me a catastrophic paradigm shift proportionate to the number of pages in all of my unread books combined.)
Sunday, January 2, 2011
good tidings of comfort and few-to-no molten sugar burns
Happy New Year, faithful readers! I hope it's treated you well so far. (It treated me to a mini-marathon of Bones [can I register to receive one of each of the Deschanel sisters as a late Christmas present? theyaresocute], not entirely losing at Halo, and eating wonderful holiday treats from wonderful friends plus pork chops & sauerkraut and kale and roasted root vegetables cooked by an also-wonderful dreamthrum. I will gladly take a whole year of these sorts of small delights.)
If you're like me in that you're not quite ready to give up holiday foods yet, check out CurvyGirlGuide's collection of go-to holiday dishes -- they featured a few of mine!
I'm hoping to have some new ones to share with you soon. Things I've made in the recent past that I'm looking forward to refining in the near future include baklava and peanut butter cookies. If you've got any secrets to either of these, let me know! I will give you shoutouts & lurve.
And in further culinary adventures, tomorrow I'm gonna try making marshmallows! Wish me luck & few-to-no burns from molten sugar, and I'll let you know how it goes. But first, sleep, a quick run out for graham crackers and Hershey's bars, and the building of the sort of fire that will produce good hot coals. In that order, yes.
If you're like me in that you're not quite ready to give up holiday foods yet, check out CurvyGirlGuide's collection of go-to holiday dishes -- they featured a few of mine!
I'm hoping to have some new ones to share with you soon. Things I've made in the recent past that I'm looking forward to refining in the near future include baklava and peanut butter cookies. If you've got any secrets to either of these, let me know! I will give you shoutouts & lurve.
And in further culinary adventures, tomorrow I'm gonna try making marshmallows! Wish me luck & few-to-no burns from molten sugar, and I'll let you know how it goes. But first, sleep, a quick run out for graham crackers and Hershey's bars, and the building of the sort of fire that will produce good hot coals. In that order, yes.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
feliz el too-busy-to-update mes!
Faithful readers! Fear not, for I have not abandoned you (entirely)! The past few weeks, I've been quite busy traveling to Boston again, doing that aforementioned job-what-makes-me-work thing, and making Halloween happen (I mean, not for everybody, but for some 80 people, anyway).
While in Bostontown I ate here and here, and had a tasty cocktail here. More about that later on when I havefewer wines and encroaching bedtimes the wherewithal to serve up proper foodpr0n.
Here in Atlanta I've been living the questionably glamorous life of a Social Media Nomad, which comes with an 80s-Saturday-morning-cartoon-style theme song, frequent visits to coffee shops with patient baristas & free wi-fi, and a really psyched dog (see illust., right). One of these days I might post a whole entry about all the coffee shops in town, and about how I'm spending too much money on Jeni's Ice Creams at Star Provisions and on sandwiches with Vietnamese-style pickles at Bocado now that I'm occasionally hanging out around the West Side. Until then, you can count on me to be fading in and out of shadows, a loaded MacBook on my back.
Somewhere among all that dull "necessary" stuff, Halloween happened! Through careful planning and wonderful friends, I managed to make this calavera Catrina costume go (please excuse the mess):

A seamstress friend, Jennifer, made the Edwardianish dress for me -- and if anyone else out there is looking to commission a garment (not necessarily Edwardianish), contact me and I'll get you in touch with her 'cause she's fabulous. The crucifix was cobbled together with bits from the jewelry-supply sale rack at Michael's, the makeup is Ben Nye cake and grease pencil, the gloves are Leg Avenue fingerless things from Sock Dreams, and the hat is all the spray paint, ostrich feathers, 50-cent ribbon, and hot glue that you can apply to a straw hat while in a mild state of hat-panic on the afternoon of your Halloween party. Both the makeup & hat were completed with the gracious assistance of a certain dreamthrum, who I guess I like pretty well.
So! What've you been up to?
While in Bostontown I ate here and here, and had a tasty cocktail here. More about that later on when I have

Somewhere among all that dull "necessary" stuff, Halloween happened! Through careful planning and wonderful friends, I managed to make this calavera Catrina costume go (please excuse the mess):
A seamstress friend, Jennifer, made the Edwardianish dress for me -- and if anyone else out there is looking to commission a garment (not necessarily Edwardianish), contact me and I'll get you in touch with her 'cause she's fabulous. The crucifix was cobbled together with bits from the jewelry-supply sale rack at Michael's, the makeup is Ben Nye cake and grease pencil, the gloves are Leg Avenue fingerless things from Sock Dreams, and the hat is all the spray paint, ostrich feathers, 50-cent ribbon, and hot glue that you can apply to a straw hat while in a mild state of hat-panic on the afternoon of your Halloween party. Both the makeup & hat were completed with the gracious assistance of a certain dreamthrum, who I guess I like pretty well.
So! What've you been up to?
Thursday, October 7, 2010
consumerism WOW: huh it's October
Adam and I somehow lost September. In a tragic accident. Involving gummy fish. Apologies, faithful Consumerism WOW readers! To balm your wounded hearts, we offer this October edition of Consumerism WOW! For those of you who look so confused, a) your keys are probably in the vegetable crisper again and b) Consumerism WOW is where either Adam P. Knave or myself (in this case, myself) professes desire for several commercially available products, then the other of us (in this case, Adam) tries to guess why the first person wants said products. And the guesser is usually so wrong that we then threaten their pets with sporks.
Thing #1

Adam: You want this "Phantom" quartz bullet in order to shoot The Phantom Menace. I can see it now -- you with a sniper rifle, one bullet, and only Jar Jar between you and a shitty trilogy ending for all time.
Lauren: No! Well, yes. Well, I mostly want this because I think that turning something functional and potentially violent into pretty jewelry is nifty, and also you can't prove that I've been playing so much Halo: Reach just to practice my sniper skills. Also, no jury of my peers would convict me (unless they were 6-year olds, and this is precisely why we don't let 6-year olds sit for jury duty).
Thing #2

Adam: Are you saying you're stressed, Lauren? Is that a jab at our working relationship? Do I stress you? Are you stressing at me? Are you? Because I don't see anyone else here.
Lauren: I like to think that I'm not stressing at you, but rather with you. There is no "I" in "Oh fuckcakes, when were we supposed to have that done?"
Thing #3


Adam: The steampunk controller is pretty cool, but looks like it would hurt your thumbs. Why do you want to make people hurt their thumbs, Lauren? WHY?
Lauren: I'd rather people hurt their thumbs than have to live without video games merely for having been born in the Victorian era. Also this shirt has a bit of design on the back as well as the front! Comprehensive use of the whole t-shirt canvas is important to me.
Thing #4

Adam: I 100% approve of this. Just, you know, watch out for really pale men in Hawaiian shirts knocking on your door late at night, 'k Babs?
Lauren: I always do! (A good friend of mine taught me that much.) Just to be clear, you mean this guy, right?
Thing #5

Adam: I can not approve of this. It is not a real bee. I thought, perhaps, it was a real bee. Cast in metal. Cast down! But no. It is a wireframe bee. A faux bee. Which is close to a Flow-Bee. Which is even worse. So no. I do not know why you would want a flow-bee. Perhaps you like Tron?
Lauren: No no, I want this jewelry because when I'm wearing it, people who want to flirt with me can say, "I like my women like I like my coffee -- covered in bees!" And also because I love bees.
Thing #6

Adam: I enjoy how the handles look like wooden mustaches. I just thought I would throw that out there so that if you ever got this bag you would forever think it. I say things like that because I care, Lauren. But as to why you want it, well, that much is obvious. But I will tell you right now you're wrong. You can not smuggle kittens in that bag.
Lauren: I don't think there has ever been a mustachioed purse, ever, in the entire existence of the Universe, that has been more suited to smuggling kittens. C'mon, they could keep themselves entertained by playing with the beaded tassels! Don't you try to ruin my most-adorable-ever smuggling ring.
Thing #7

Adam: Oh great. I know you want this because you think it will go with your steampunk corset and jodhpurs. However, it will also end with far too many people asking to taste. And your baseball bat arm will get tired. Just a thought. Respect the swinging arm.
Lauren: But you forget, I will have a tortuous yet intriguing game controller with me. When people start to ask for tastes, I distract them with the controller and then their thumbs are bleeding too much for them to think about saying inappropriate things.
Thing #8

Adam: You want this ring because it symbolizes both Captain Planet and Jem for you, at the same time. Bravo.
Lauren: ....Well now that you mention it, yes. This ring is clearly From The '80s, and therefore fabulous. Radical. Tubular?
Thing #9

Adam: So are pixel fossils from 8-bit game monsters? Are you a video game archeologist? 8-bit-ana Jones? Wow, that line was bad enough I won't snark at this shirt. Sorry. Next.
Lauren: First off, this shirt has a glow-in-the-dark pixelated T-rex on it, you shouldn't snark at it anyway. Secondly, check out those tiny little glow-in-the-dark pixely T-rex arms! They're so vestigial and becoming! I think that's a trend that genetics should bring back.
Thing #10

Adam: Look, Lauren, I know you liked Finding Nemo, mmmkay, but this is a sickness. Stop getting your fishpron on. It's upsetting. And it makes us wonder about lobster suits and raise eyebrows.
Lauren: It's clearly not fishpron, it's tragic, star-crossed merpeople lurve! I hope that by next month you'll have grown enough, heartwise, to realize the value in unbees, cute contraband, and emo merpeople.
And so, with a challenge issued and sleep to be had, we leave you each on your own in the consumer-Internet wilderness for another month! Be brave out there, intrepid readers!

Adam: You want this "Phantom" quartz bullet in order to shoot The Phantom Menace. I can see it now -- you with a sniper rifle, one bullet, and only Jar Jar between you and a shitty trilogy ending for all time.
Lauren: No! Well, yes. Well, I mostly want this because I think that turning something functional and potentially violent into pretty jewelry is nifty, and also you can't prove that I've been playing so much Halo: Reach just to practice my sniper skills. Also, no jury of my peers would convict me (unless they were 6-year olds, and this is precisely why we don't let 6-year olds sit for jury duty).

Adam: Are you saying you're stressed, Lauren? Is that a jab at our working relationship? Do I stress you? Are you stressing at me? Are you? Because I don't see anyone else here.
Lauren: I like to think that I'm not stressing at you, but rather with you. There is no "I" in "Oh fuckcakes, when were we supposed to have that done?"


Adam: The steampunk controller is pretty cool, but looks like it would hurt your thumbs. Why do you want to make people hurt their thumbs, Lauren? WHY?
Lauren: I'd rather people hurt their thumbs than have to live without video games merely for having been born in the Victorian era. Also this shirt has a bit of design on the back as well as the front! Comprehensive use of the whole t-shirt canvas is important to me.

Adam: I 100% approve of this. Just, you know, watch out for really pale men in Hawaiian shirts knocking on your door late at night, 'k Babs?
Lauren: I always do! (A good friend of mine taught me that much.) Just to be clear, you mean this guy, right?

Adam: I can not approve of this. It is not a real bee. I thought, perhaps, it was a real bee. Cast in metal. Cast down! But no. It is a wireframe bee. A faux bee. Which is close to a Flow-Bee. Which is even worse. So no. I do not know why you would want a flow-bee. Perhaps you like Tron?
Lauren: No no, I want this jewelry because when I'm wearing it, people who want to flirt with me can say, "I like my women like I like my coffee -- covered in bees!" And also because I love bees.

Adam: I enjoy how the handles look like wooden mustaches. I just thought I would throw that out there so that if you ever got this bag you would forever think it. I say things like that because I care, Lauren. But as to why you want it, well, that much is obvious. But I will tell you right now you're wrong. You can not smuggle kittens in that bag.
Lauren: I don't think there has ever been a mustachioed purse, ever, in the entire existence of the Universe, that has been more suited to smuggling kittens. C'mon, they could keep themselves entertained by playing with the beaded tassels! Don't you try to ruin my most-adorable-ever smuggling ring.

Adam: Oh great. I know you want this because you think it will go with your steampunk corset and jodhpurs. However, it will also end with far too many people asking to taste. And your baseball bat arm will get tired. Just a thought. Respect the swinging arm.
Lauren: But you forget, I will have a tortuous yet intriguing game controller with me. When people start to ask for tastes, I distract them with the controller and then their thumbs are bleeding too much for them to think about saying inappropriate things.

Adam: You want this ring because it symbolizes both Captain Planet and Jem for you, at the same time. Bravo.
Lauren: ....Well now that you mention it, yes. This ring is clearly From The '80s, and therefore fabulous. Radical. Tubular?

Adam: So are pixel fossils from 8-bit game monsters? Are you a video game archeologist? 8-bit-ana Jones? Wow, that line was bad enough I won't snark at this shirt. Sorry. Next.
Lauren: First off, this shirt has a glow-in-the-dark pixelated T-rex on it, you shouldn't snark at it anyway. Secondly, check out those tiny little glow-in-the-dark pixely T-rex arms! They're so vestigial and becoming! I think that's a trend that genetics should bring back.

Adam: Look, Lauren, I know you liked Finding Nemo, mmmkay, but this is a sickness. Stop getting your fishpron on. It's upsetting. And it makes us wonder about lobster suits and raise eyebrows.
Lauren: It's clearly not fishpron, it's tragic, star-crossed merpeople lurve! I hope that by next month you'll have grown enough, heartwise, to realize the value in unbees, cute contraband, and emo merpeople.
And so, with a challenge issued and sleep to be had, we leave you each on your own in the consumer-Internet wilderness for another month! Be brave out there, intrepid readers!
Saturday, September 11, 2010
steam-powered influenza, book projects, and employment
Oh my, I still have a blog. It didn't die while I was gone like my mint plant did.
I have been busy the past couple weeks with: going to DragonCon, having the flu, helping Adam Knave finish his new compilation of essays and fiction, getting a new job, quitting my old job, and blatantly ignoring this blog. Not necessarily in that order.
Details!
DragonCon: For those who've never been, it's basically Nerdi Gras in downtown Atlanta. Pop culture celebrities and fans attend, the latter dress up in elaborate costumes, and everyone dranks and giggles. The big trend o' the year was steampunk everything, and nothing quite working out how I wanted it to with the exception of some excellent peanut butter sandwiches. I have no pictures! Except of how someone modded the elevator buttons in the Marriott Marquis:

The flu: Is lame.
Adam's new book: I Slept With Your Imaginary Friend is a compilation of essays and fiction -- some from the Intarwebs and some written fresh for this publication -- that, like DragonCon, is all about the pop culture of our lives. But it's a lot more hygienic than DragonCon, and there are no German ladies named Ilka in it who will try to sell you corsets. This is what the cover will look like:

New job: Despite my dropping the f-bomb within the first 3 seconds of my first interview, these nice people hired me on to be a Writer/Strategist for their content team, which basically means that I'll be writing some blog copy, wrangling some freelancers, helping companies that don't know how to Internet Internet better, and, um, doin' some other stuff. It's a shiny-new position, so none of us are entirely sure what it'll entail aside from my generally making myself useful in a geeky way. Which is pretty much what I live to do, so, yay!
Old job: I've been editing rheumatology manuscripts for the past 4 years and I'm really not going to miss that part at all, but I will miss my coworkers. If you're one of them, you should comment/email and let me know how we can keep in touch! (And no, they're not letting me keep the lobster suit. NOT THAT I'VE ASKED.)
Blog: Holy whoa I just wrote some words and will now upload them. And I anticipate repeating the process in the near future! I bet it's what you never expected, which is, apparently, how the upstanding fellows in this video feel about being On A Blimp.
I have been busy the past couple weeks with: going to DragonCon, having the flu, helping Adam Knave finish his new compilation of essays and fiction, getting a new job, quitting my old job, and blatantly ignoring this blog. Not necessarily in that order.
Details!
DragonCon: For those who've never been, it's basically Nerdi Gras in downtown Atlanta. Pop culture celebrities and fans attend, the latter dress up in elaborate costumes, and everyone dranks and giggles. The big trend o' the year was steampunk everything, and nothing quite working out how I wanted it to with the exception of some excellent peanut butter sandwiches. I have no pictures! Except of how someone modded the elevator buttons in the Marriott Marquis:

The flu: Is lame.
Adam's new book: I Slept With Your Imaginary Friend is a compilation of essays and fiction -- some from the Intarwebs and some written fresh for this publication -- that, like DragonCon, is all about the pop culture of our lives. But it's a lot more hygienic than DragonCon, and there are no German ladies named Ilka in it who will try to sell you corsets. This is what the cover will look like:

New job: Despite my dropping the f-bomb within the first 3 seconds of my first interview, these nice people hired me on to be a Writer/Strategist for their content team, which basically means that I'll be writing some blog copy, wrangling some freelancers, helping companies that don't know how to Internet Internet better, and, um, doin' some other stuff. It's a shiny-new position, so none of us are entirely sure what it'll entail aside from my generally making myself useful in a geeky way. Which is pretty much what I live to do, so, yay!
Old job: I've been editing rheumatology manuscripts for the past 4 years and I'm really not going to miss that part at all, but I will miss my coworkers. If you're one of them, you should comment/email and let me know how we can keep in touch! (And no, they're not letting me keep the lobster suit. NOT THAT I'VE ASKED.)
Blog: Holy whoa I just wrote some words and will now upload them. And I anticipate repeating the process in the near future! I bet it's what you never expected, which is, apparently, how the upstanding fellows in this video feel about being On A Blimp.
Friday, June 25, 2010
romance, knives, and one particular parasol
Two books I've managed to cross off my reading list lately:
If you read Ellen Kushner's Privilege of the Sword like I told you to, I just wanted to remind you that you might want to go back and read Swordspoint if you haven't done that -- or jump ahead and order a copy of Kushner's short followup story to Privilege, "The Man with the Knives". It's being sold, via mailed request only, as a limited-edition paperback chapbook sort of thing for $20 including shipping, is printed on paper that's gorgeous to the touch, and comes with a folded bit of artwork by Thomas Canty. Kushner's use of the language in this short is just as decadent as its presentation, making the story, altogether, a pleasure to read. However, if Privilege was double chocolate chip cookies? "The Man with the Knives" is lemonade that no one's told you is being served add-your-own-sweetener style. The sugar bowl is right there, but you might find yourself cursing at the cook after your first big glug.
A book which I didn't curse at even once is Gail Carriger's Soulless, the first in her Parasol Protectorate series. But I did giggle at it a lot. Or with it, rather, because although it’s a book about people who take themselves Victorian levels of seriously (i.e., Seriously with a capital “S” and, probably, multiple layers of undergarments), Soulless is in it for the romp. And it's a wondermous romp, featuring all the nude werewolves, gay vampires, daring escapes, and canoodling that I've come to expect & adore in urban fantasy/romance -- just, the "urban" is an alternate-history 19th century London. Which is really just an excuse for added hilarity and fabulousity, assuming that you're as amused and impressed by comedies of errors, bustles, and dirigibles as I am. The plot and characters tend to be a bit predictable in this book, but that's not preventing me from craving the second one in the series. (It doesn't hurt that someone or something in the book is at least as obsessed with cephalopods as I am. Go Team Cephalopod!)
Loosely relatedly (erm, to urban fantasy, not cephalopods), and not to criticize Soulless for what it is but as an open question to all authors & consumers of supernatural romance at large: Why is it that there aren’t any books in popular circulation in which the female lead is the ancient beastie and the male lead is the human ingénue who catches her interest?
If such books do exist and I just don’t know about them, please enlighten me! But, assuming there aren't, I figure it’s a combination of it being more simple/fun to tell a story through the eyes of the person who'll be most like the readers -- a human and a n00b who’ll need the supernatural parts explained -- and of age and gender stereotypes indicating that the man should be the older, more powerful party in the relationship.
But I wanna hear your opinion! Would you want to read a story about Civil War-era vampire Sookie moving back to her hometown and falling for the psychic boy next door? Or, say, assuming that Darla and Angel were interesting characters, about Darla’s decision that Liam was a person she wanted to chat up eternally?


Loosely relatedly (erm, to urban fantasy, not cephalopods), and not to criticize Soulless for what it is but as an open question to all authors & consumers of supernatural romance at large: Why is it that there aren’t any books in popular circulation in which the female lead is the ancient beastie and the male lead is the human ingénue who catches her interest?
If such books do exist and I just don’t know about them, please enlighten me! But, assuming there aren't, I figure it’s a combination of it being more simple/fun to tell a story through the eyes of the person who'll be most like the readers -- a human and a n00b who’ll need the supernatural parts explained -- and of age and gender stereotypes indicating that the man should be the older, more powerful party in the relationship.
But I wanna hear your opinion! Would you want to read a story about Civil War-era vampire Sookie moving back to her hometown and falling for the psychic boy next door? Or, say, assuming that Darla and Angel were interesting characters, about Darla’s decision that Liam was a person she wanted to chat up eternally?
Friday, April 9, 2010
road trip & birthdays: HUGE SUCCESS
A certain dreamthrum and I road tripped down to Florida a couple weekends ago for our friends Maria and Mr. Melee's (completely rockin' karaoke booth) birthday party. Goofy pictures forthcoming -- though you can spot a couple on Maria's blog. (That was Bon Jovi's "Wanted Dead or Alive" we're singing in this photo. I really, really wish I could know what line that was picture was snapped during, 'cause it was apparently v. serious.) In the meanwhile, a few places that made the trip nearly as rockin' as a dozen mostly sober adults completely nailing The Humpty Dance:
Young Blood Gallery & Boutique, Poncey Highlands, Atlanta, Georgia
I do a lot of gift shopping for like-mindedly indie-chic geeks at Young Blood Gallery 'cause they carry pop-punky household items, art, t-shirts, jewelry, and accessories that're handmade by mostly local artists and crafters. It's a sort of the Best Of Etsy In 3 Dimensions, so my friends get one-of-a-kind gifts and I get to support rad creative people. Win all around. This time, I found a shirt for Mr. Melee featuring a giant plant destroying a city (in the style of Audrey II?) and a block-print cupcake tea towel and a pretty, leafy silver necklace for Maria (none of which are featured in their online store, or I'd link you to them.) There are sometimes even parking spots available out front. Check the sale table by the cash register for reasonable prices on shiny things.
A New Deal Cafe, Gainesville, Florida
Adjacent to Mildred's Big City Food, New Deal has longer hours and a lighter menu (lighter on the belly & the wallet), but shares a lot of Mildred's highfalutin' kitchen & waitstaff. They feature local ingredients and have an incredibly craveable dessert selection. Also, they gave me an I've-been-living-in-Atlanta-too-long wake-up call: We ordered fried squidbits, a tasty if overly toasted sandwich, the seafood special (a creamy, just-tender risotto with shrimp & andouille), 2 double espressos (road fuel), and a big slice of Chocolate Corruption cake for Maria. And our bill was like 40bux. So, yeah. It's maybe 10 minutes in off of I75, but completely worthwhile. Especially during patio weather. If you save room for dessert, one of my favorite things on this planet is their Chocolate Mousse Bombe, but you shouldn't try a slice unless you want to be addicted for life.
Ha Long Bay Vietnamese Cuisine & Dim Sum, St. Petersburg, Florida
We go to Ha Long Bay for dim sum every time I'm in St. Pete, and their steamed buns are some of the best I've ever had. We always go for late breakfast/early lunch, get iced coffees (the kind that come as a sort of DIY kit, with a tiny single-serving brewing pod of the strongest coffee imaginable laced with sweetened condensed milk, a long spoon, and a glass of ice) that I promptly crack myself out on, squee about the adorable toddlers there with their families, order too much food, and receive stern judgment from the creatures temporarily living in the wall of aquariums that separate the far end of the dining room from the kitchen. If you go, you must order the steamed barbecue pork buns (caramelized chunks of pork in a smoky-sweet sauce, encased by perfect pillowy bread), the steamed ginger-pork dumplings (bright and juicy ground pork and ginger in a delicate wonton wrapper), the fried rice-dough dumplings (piquant ground pork and leeks wrapped in my favorite-ever thick, chewy rice dough with a crisp, crackly outer coating), and the steamed custard buns (creamy, uberthick custard in that terrific pillowy bread). Mix your own dipping sauce from the vinegar, soy, and chili paste on the table, and don't be afraid to ask for explanations when choosing dishes from the friendly cart attendants (the young man who works there speaks the best English, but all of the waiters are happy to help).
Kroaky's Karaoke, Sarasota, Florida
Recently taken over by a tiny lady manager who kicks proverbial ass, Kroaky's has both a public stage and private rooms for karaoke. Maria & Mr. Melee rented one of those private rooms -- basically a huge table with wrap-around booth seating but with full walls for privacy, on one of which a flatscreen is mounted. Though the controls for the system were a little counterintuitive and most of us were at least a little inebriated, we killed about as much Bon Jovi, Journey, Lady Gaga, Little Mermaid, Fergie, Fiona Apple, Deee-lite, and Little Shop of Horrors as you might imagine a group of dorktacular 20 & 30-somethings would. Their song selection is extensive -- the only thing we really missed was RENT, which, honestly, was maybe better for the Universe anyway. The wait staff were attentive to and genuinely amused by us, the drinks (non-liquor only) were reasonably priced (including awesome beer specials, like $3 Abita and Terrapin bottles), the room was clean and well-ventilated, and although we didn't try anything from their food menu, it did exist. If you like the singing part of karaoke but are hesitant about the being-on-stage part, I highly recommend finding a place with booths as nice as the ones at Kroaky's. And friends who rock as hard as ours. Though if you have to settle for slightly less-rockin' friends, no one will blame you.
Young Blood Gallery & Boutique, Poncey Highlands, Atlanta, Georgia
I do a lot of gift shopping for like-mindedly indie-chic geeks at Young Blood Gallery 'cause they carry pop-punky household items, art, t-shirts, jewelry, and accessories that're handmade by mostly local artists and crafters. It's a sort of the Best Of Etsy In 3 Dimensions, so my friends get one-of-a-kind gifts and I get to support rad creative people. Win all around. This time, I found a shirt for Mr. Melee featuring a giant plant destroying a city (in the style of Audrey II?) and a block-print cupcake tea towel and a pretty, leafy silver necklace for Maria (none of which are featured in their online store, or I'd link you to them.) There are sometimes even parking spots available out front. Check the sale table by the cash register for reasonable prices on shiny things.
A New Deal Cafe, Gainesville, Florida
Adjacent to Mildred's Big City Food, New Deal has longer hours and a lighter menu (lighter on the belly & the wallet), but shares a lot of Mildred's highfalutin' kitchen & waitstaff. They feature local ingredients and have an incredibly craveable dessert selection. Also, they gave me an I've-been-living-in-Atlanta-too-long wake-up call: We ordered fried squidbits, a tasty if overly toasted sandwich, the seafood special (a creamy, just-tender risotto with shrimp & andouille), 2 double espressos (road fuel), and a big slice of Chocolate Corruption cake for Maria. And our bill was like 40bux. So, yeah. It's maybe 10 minutes in off of I75, but completely worthwhile. Especially during patio weather. If you save room for dessert, one of my favorite things on this planet is their Chocolate Mousse Bombe, but you shouldn't try a slice unless you want to be addicted for life.
Ha Long Bay Vietnamese Cuisine & Dim Sum, St. Petersburg, Florida
We go to Ha Long Bay for dim sum every time I'm in St. Pete, and their steamed buns are some of the best I've ever had. We always go for late breakfast/early lunch, get iced coffees (the kind that come as a sort of DIY kit, with a tiny single-serving brewing pod of the strongest coffee imaginable laced with sweetened condensed milk, a long spoon, and a glass of ice) that I promptly crack myself out on, squee about the adorable toddlers there with their families, order too much food, and receive stern judgment from the creatures temporarily living in the wall of aquariums that separate the far end of the dining room from the kitchen. If you go, you must order the steamed barbecue pork buns (caramelized chunks of pork in a smoky-sweet sauce, encased by perfect pillowy bread), the steamed ginger-pork dumplings (bright and juicy ground pork and ginger in a delicate wonton wrapper), the fried rice-dough dumplings (piquant ground pork and leeks wrapped in my favorite-ever thick, chewy rice dough with a crisp, crackly outer coating), and the steamed custard buns (creamy, uberthick custard in that terrific pillowy bread). Mix your own dipping sauce from the vinegar, soy, and chili paste on the table, and don't be afraid to ask for explanations when choosing dishes from the friendly cart attendants (the young man who works there speaks the best English, but all of the waiters are happy to help).
Kroaky's Karaoke, Sarasota, Florida
Recently taken over by a tiny lady manager who kicks proverbial ass, Kroaky's has both a public stage and private rooms for karaoke. Maria & Mr. Melee rented one of those private rooms -- basically a huge table with wrap-around booth seating but with full walls for privacy, on one of which a flatscreen is mounted. Though the controls for the system were a little counterintuitive and most of us were at least a little inebriated, we killed about as much Bon Jovi, Journey, Lady Gaga, Little Mermaid, Fergie, Fiona Apple, Deee-lite, and Little Shop of Horrors as you might imagine a group of dorktacular 20 & 30-somethings would. Their song selection is extensive -- the only thing we really missed was RENT, which, honestly, was maybe better for the Universe anyway. The wait staff were attentive to and genuinely amused by us, the drinks (non-liquor only) were reasonably priced (including awesome beer specials, like $3 Abita and Terrapin bottles), the room was clean and well-ventilated, and although we didn't try anything from their food menu, it did exist. If you like the singing part of karaoke but are hesitant about the being-on-stage part, I highly recommend finding a place with booths as nice as the ones at Kroaky's. And friends who rock as hard as ours. Though if you have to settle for slightly less-rockin' friends, no one will blame you.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
consumerism wow: underpants
If you, like me, enjoy wearing ladies' underpants, perhaps you will be interested in these fine-looking products that I've been coveting.
I think that a lot of slogany t-shirts are silly. I don't really want people stopping what they're doing to read my chest! And what if they, having stopped to read my chest, think that my sense of humor is dumb and then have negative feelings about my me and my chest? Yeah, I'll take some graphical images on my t-shirts. But by the time someone has gotten to the point where they're going to see my underpants, man, it's a brave new world! They can take all the time they want to read any hilarious slogans they find there. And chances are that if they've gotten my pants into the "off" position, either they share my sense of humor or kindly tolerate it. I will take all of the slogany underpants. I like these "I'm blogging this." slogany underpants in particular because they are so blatantly untrue. Yes, I want my underpants to lie to you. By ThinkGeek (who are good people), these cost $7.99 apiece and ship via UPS, and come in a few other slogans.
Right now I really, really want this silly thong with lace and cupcakes by Honeydew. I have a pair of pineapple ruffly underpants from them, and they're not what I'd call strictly practical, but they. are. so. cute. (Like these strawberry ruffly underpants, but with pineapples instead [hungry model girl not included].) Any underpants that make me wanna shake my butt whenever I apply them are, according to me, Ultimate Underpants. The waistbands in that ruffly rumba style of theirs run a little tight, but their mesh boy short style is crazy stretchy and flattering. I'm betting that this thong is nice & stretchy, too. It'll set you back $14.00, and ships via your choice of UPS or USPS. (A Note of Warning: Honeydew's website is the worst site I've attempted to deal with since possibly Geocities. Maybe you want to do like I did and find these in your local Nordstrom, Dillard's, or Bloomies.)
Now, unlike the abovementioned companies, Lucy B is one I've had no experience with -- I heard about them through PinupGirlClothing.com, which I sometimes love for Internet window shopping. But Lucy B works with hugely crushable & perpetually cheery cheesecake model Bernie Dexter, and they make underpants with pulp comics on them, so I figure they've gotta be rad. (These also come in a style with fuller coverage and leopard-print side panels, but the only photograph of them is teensy, so I can't properly covet them. The photograph has made me covet adorable pinup models in laundry carts, however.) They run $32.00 (eesh) apiece, and ship via USPS Priority for a flat rate of $7.00.
And hey, a note to readers: If you own anything that I've featured on Consumerism Wow, let me know how it's working out for you! (Y'know, how's the quality? Do you get comments about it?) If you send me a picture of yourself with/wearing the product, I'll post it! Unless the product is underpants. I am sure you are a lovely person with many good qualities, but I do not want to receive any pictures of you in your underpants, no matter how completely rad those underpants happen to be. (Exceptions made ONLY for underpants being worn superhero-style. I'm talking superhero-style like Batman circa The Animated Series, not like Emma Frost circa her entire existence. One of these characters is a triflin' ho, and the other is a triflin' ho who dresses like she's proud of it. Moral of the story: Emulate Batman, kids; he's a classy ho.)
Also, if you're a person who makes something that, according to an educated hunch, you think I'd dig, tell me about it! After all, I cannot be everywhere on the Internet all the time. I'm not Warren Ellis. Doesn't matter if you're an independent crafter rather than a big ol' store -- I'd love to feature some homemade products!



And hey, a note to readers: If you own anything that I've featured on Consumerism Wow, let me know how it's working out for you! (Y'know, how's the quality? Do you get comments about it?) If you send me a picture of yourself with/wearing the product, I'll post it! Unless the product is underpants. I am sure you are a lovely person with many good qualities, but I do not want to receive any pictures of you in your underpants, no matter how completely rad those underpants happen to be. (Exceptions made ONLY for underpants being worn superhero-style. I'm talking superhero-style like Batman circa The Animated Series, not like Emma Frost circa her entire existence. One of these characters is a triflin' ho, and the other is a triflin' ho who dresses like she's proud of it. Moral of the story: Emulate Batman, kids; he's a classy ho.)
Also, if you're a person who makes something that, according to an educated hunch, you think I'd dig, tell me about it! After all, I cannot be everywhere on the Internet all the time. I'm not Warren Ellis. Doesn't matter if you're an independent crafter rather than a big ol' store -- I'd love to feature some homemade products!
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
good comedy, good food, and killin' digital stuff
Some things that I may or may not be doing this week:
* Playing Halo on a day other than Wednesday. Shocking, I know! (I usually play every week on Wednesday nights 'cause sticking plasma grenades to digital people prevents me from needing to stick plasma grenades to real people. If you ever want to join me, friend me on Xbox Live and drop me a note -- gamertag: your emo kid. With spaces, yes. You wouldn't know it from being on Live, but Xbox does allow grammar to happen in gamertags.) This is because I'll be:
* Cheering for my friend Thomas Jenkins at the Laughing Skull during the first night of the Dogwood Homegrown Comedy Binge tonight. Which is going on at The Vortex Midtown from 7:30 to 10:30 (or thereabouts), with a $10 cover. I'm glad it's at The Vortex 'cause I've been craving tasty beers in general and tripels specifically, which I won't need in order to sit through Thomas's set (I'm so. blessed. that all of my performer friends are actually talented), but will certainly welcome after what feels like a 2-week-long first half of a work week. You should come!
* Making reservations for dinner at one of the restaurants participating in Inman Park Restaurant Week. It goes through Sunday the 14th! I love gigs like this 'cause they encourage me to try new places and actually get a sampling of the menu -- usually when I'm out to eat, I'll have my entrée and maybe try a bite of someone else's, but won't go for the apps or desserts. Smaller portions of more things for reasonable prices = The Ultimate Lauren Dining Experience. (If you're thinking of going, I personally recommend Wisteria, which does really lovely things with pork and, separately, chocolate.)
* Avoiding spending my entire day Bejeweling on my phone. Guys I never should have bought that game. I have a Bejeweled problem. When I close my eyes, I see the afterburns of gem stacks on my eyelids. [Which is still better than how I get when I've been playing too much Bioshock (i.e., dreaming about being armed only with a length of pipe and having, as my only plasmid, the power to grow a length of pipe out of my arm, which is useful right up until I'm not Wolverine and run into a splicer wielding a machine gun) or Katamari Damancy (i.e., driving around thinking that I should be rolling up the pedestrians and street signs)].
What've you got goin' on, gentle readers? Anything in Atlanta that I should add to my list?
* Playing Halo on a day other than Wednesday. Shocking, I know! (I usually play every week on Wednesday nights 'cause sticking plasma grenades to digital people prevents me from needing to stick plasma grenades to real people. If you ever want to join me, friend me on Xbox Live and drop me a note -- gamertag: your emo kid. With spaces, yes. You wouldn't know it from being on Live, but Xbox does allow grammar to happen in gamertags.) This is because I'll be:
* Cheering for my friend Thomas Jenkins at the Laughing Skull during the first night of the Dogwood Homegrown Comedy Binge tonight. Which is going on at The Vortex Midtown from 7:30 to 10:30 (or thereabouts), with a $10 cover. I'm glad it's at The Vortex 'cause I've been craving tasty beers in general and tripels specifically, which I won't need in order to sit through Thomas's set (I'm so. blessed. that all of my performer friends are actually talented), but will certainly welcome after what feels like a 2-week-long first half of a work week. You should come!
* Making reservations for dinner at one of the restaurants participating in Inman Park Restaurant Week. It goes through Sunday the 14th! I love gigs like this 'cause they encourage me to try new places and actually get a sampling of the menu -- usually when I'm out to eat, I'll have my entrée and maybe try a bite of someone else's, but won't go for the apps or desserts. Smaller portions of more things for reasonable prices = The Ultimate Lauren Dining Experience. (If you're thinking of going, I personally recommend Wisteria, which does really lovely things with pork and, separately, chocolate.)
* Avoiding spending my entire day Bejeweling on my phone. Guys I never should have bought that game. I have a Bejeweled problem. When I close my eyes, I see the afterburns of gem stacks on my eyelids. [Which is still better than how I get when I've been playing too much Bioshock (i.e., dreaming about being armed only with a length of pipe and having, as my only plasmid, the power to grow a length of pipe out of my arm, which is useful right up until I'm not Wolverine and run into a splicer wielding a machine gun) or Katamari Damancy (i.e., driving around thinking that I should be rolling up the pedestrians and street signs)].
What've you got goin' on, gentle readers? Anything in Atlanta that I should add to my list?
Friday, February 26, 2010
consumerism wow: smelly stuff
At some point in my early 20s, I decided that some girly things -- such as the color pink (especially on Xbox controllers), glitter (especially on stickers that you put on Xbox controllers), and froofy bath products (entirely unrelated to Xbox controllers) -- actually are awesome. This decision extended to perfume once I discovered that some perfumes don't smell like old ladies and won't ever be forcibly applied to my eyeballs by helpful saleswomen in department stores. Soon after, I discovered that some perfumes are made by geeks, for geeks, and I was done for. Guys, I have a perfume stash. And I want more. Right now, specifically:
The limited edition perfume oil Smut 2010 by Elizabeth Barrial at the goth/dork-chic Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab (BPAL). Beth puts out several sets of limited edition scents every year, in addition to the several hundred general catalog scents she sells at BPAL (and Twilight Alchemy Lab, Dark Delicacies, the CBLDF, and etc.). Smut is from her Lupercalia line, which will be available until March 31st this year. She does a Lupercalia line every year, but hasn't put out a version of Smut for the past two or three, and I was starting to panic that she'd gotten bored with it and wasn't going to bring it back. Because it smells like sugar & musk and everything nice naughty, and I need it for life. Though it's way too powerful for day wear, it's my favorite scent to wear at night with something slinky if I'm heading to a bar or out dancing. A 5 ml bottle runs $17.50 and should be used so, so sparingly that it'll last for years. (Though BPAL does offer samples -- imp's ears -- of its general catalog for $3.50 apiece or 6 for $19.50, no such thing is available for limited edition scents. But you can find fan-decanted samples on ebay & etc., and if you're in the Atlanta or LA/Burbank areas, you can sniff & sample everything at monthly Will Calls, on or near the full moon, of course. [Hint: The next full moon is this weekend, folks.]) Ordering from the website will garner a couple random imp's ears per bottle purchased, and shipping (via USPS) will run you a flat $6.50 and may take a few weeks, as they hand-blend everything fresh and always have orders in queue.
Okay, I sorta cheated the concept of Consumerism Wow with that last one 'cause I've sampled previous versions of Smut, but here's a thing I've been properly admiring from afar: the entire line of Brooke's Villainess scents, though perhaps particularly Blood, Villainess, Shanghaied, Ginger Snapped, Dulces en Fuego, Jai Mahal, Pearl Diver, and Silk & Cyanide. Also falling under the category of goth/dork-chic, the inspirations for the Villainess line are a wee bit less esoteric than BPAL's tend to be, but, y'know, I'm not always looking for my perfumes to challenge my vocabulary and reading level. And they offer a good bit of their general catalog not only as $16-a-pop perfume oils in holy-whoa-kickass apothecary bottles, but also as bars of soap (hiIhaveasoapfetish), and jars of soft soap, body scrub, lotion, and masque. They also do limited edition thingies, and offer samples of their scents in soap format for a buck apiece (and two come free with every order). Shipping (via USPS) should run you the actual cost of shipping an item of the weight of your order to the address where you want to receive it.
My third, incongruously ungothy scent desire is a great deal of what Christopher Brosius creates for his CB I Hate Perfume line (mostly Russian Caravan Tea, Memory of Kindness, and November, but really I want to sniff them all). Brosius is also the dude responsible for my-favorite-person-ever-Alan Cumming's tongue-so-much-in-cheek-it-looks-like-a-rude-gesture scent line, Cumming [video link to hilarious adorable commercial], which is how I heard of CB I Hate Perfume a couple years back. (Cumming seems to be out of scent-print now, though is still available if you poke around for it.) And THAT is how I came to spend perhaps a few hours obsessively clicking through every scent note on the CB site. If I had a time-traveling pogo stick and whole moneypile sitting around that I had nothing in particular planned for, I'd so totally pogo up to New York and buy myself a custom-blended scent as of a couple years ago, and it'd smell like cookies baking + scotch + earl grey tea + sexylady. But lacking such a moneypile (and the skills necessary to pogo 878 miles and through time), I'll merely consider ordering one each (over the course of, say, the next 50 years) of his 2-ml "travel size" perfume samples, which run $12-$21 and ship via UPS.



Friday, February 12, 2010
review: Dead Men's Boots

It turned out that I enjoy portrayals of John Constantine so much (he's my inappropriate comic book boyfriend) that I don't mind when he's not called John Constantine. Castor is everything you want in an antihero -- cocky and fallible, the sort of too-clever-for-his-own-good that gets him both into trouble and out of it again. And Carey's non-Hellblazer-related, alternate-reality setting of a modern world in which the undead are widely rising and exorcists are part of the workforce struck me as deliciously uncomfortable and unpleasant. (I think that I like supernatural noir so much because it's so unpleasant. It's a sort of escapism in which you get to set down the book and think, "Well, sure my life sucks, but I haven't had any extensive bodily damage, death threats, or demon uprisings to cope with today. Win!")
I found the first two books (with Vicious Circle following The Devil You Know) fun but a bit clumsy, as though Carey hadn't quite gained his novel-legs yet. Dead Men's Boots is better (oh I didn't mean for this to be a pun) executed. The plotline has more frays but a tighter wind -- it kept me guessing but drew everything in neatly (if messily, entrails-wise) at the end. The sex & violence are more purposeful -- sleaze and shock value are important elements in noir, but I didn't find those elements to be exploitive in Dead Men's Boots. (That is, the violence is graphic but not lovingly detailed, and I think Castor, as the first-person narrator, has grown up a bit since the first book and become more self-aware about sex & sexuality. Importantly for sometimes-angry-feminist-me, Carey portrays the male and female rapes that occur as violent acts rather than sexual ones.) And the characters in the book, both men and women, are more sympathetic and whole. The language in Dead Men's Boots is well-wrought, intelligent, extensively British (kudos to the US publisher for not noticeably Americanizing Castor's vocabulary), and dense with pop culture references both modern and classic, literary and musical, dorky and mainstream. It's campy and silly, but it does what it sets out to do -- entertain, darkly -- very well.
What I'm really hoping is that someone turns Dead Men's Boots into a film or premium cable series -- as dark, sexy, funny, and thrilling as it is, it seems made for motion picture. With the right person working the musical score (Castor's method of doing magic constitutes playing a tin whistle), a creature/effects department with the requisite amount of latex and unwillingness to pull punches, and a lead actor who is in no way Keanu Reeves, it could be glorious.
If you're an unsqueamish fan of Jim Butcher's Dresden Files books or Charlaine Harris's Sookie Stackhouse series but think you'd appreciate something a little bit chewier in the supernatural noir genre, you should pick up something from the Felix Castor series. Start at the beginning for maximum backstory or dive right into the third book -- Carey catches you up quick. Or try a volume of Hellblazer -- Original Sins is the beginning of the series, but my favorite bits are the ones written by Garth Ennis, starting with Dangerous Habits.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
recipe updates, the lack thereof, and ingredient fangirlery
Citrus season! It's my favorite. Last week I bought a box of clementines and revisited this clementine cake recipe -- except, just to experiment, I subbed half the almond meal for white flour, and added two tablespoons of butter, and coated it in a thick ganache (double the recipe) instead of just a sprinkle. Came out better than the original, I thought, if you don't mind it not being gluten-free. (Though you could, instead of white wheat flour, use an equal amount of sifted rice flour). Next time I'm thinking I'll add maybe a quarter teaspoon of ground cloves to the batter to make it taste just a little like Christmas.
Having yet more clementines to use before they went all squishy, I boiled another one for a couple hours and pureed it like I would've for the cake, but then added the puree to this oatmeal cookie recipe (instead of the tangerine zest). Completely awesome. Also, instead of the drunken raisins, I made a half batch (half a bag) of sugared cranberries, except I just drained them (instead of draining and coating with sugar) after they were done cooking, and then stirred/mashed the cooled cranberries into the oatmeal cookie batter. They were a tiny bit tart, but played really well with the clementine flavor. Just add a minute or two to your bake time -- the cranberries contain a lot more moisture than raisins, so these cookies will need it.
In not-changing-recipes news, I made these cocoa-only brownies that momma Deb of smitten kitchen posted a recipe for, and I never missed the melted chocolate. At all. Best fudgey brownies ever. Wouldn't change a thing. (Though if you can find some and don't mind shelling out a few cash dollars, I absolutely recommend Droste cocoa powder. My local Whole Foods carries it, and it's available on Amazon, and it's dark and rich and so deep that it has a tinge of berry flavor. And the box doesn't have a scary nurse on it anymore, but apparently that design is where the term Droste effect came from, so I thought I'd show you the picture anyway.) But yeah, go make these.
Also, guys, a word about whole wheat flour. (This is partially a note to self, 'cause I keep forgetting.) You can safely substitute a quarter of the white flour in a recipe for whole wheat flour, and it'll add a bit of a nutty flavor (and nutrition) but won't really impact the texture or taste. Substituting out a third of your white flour for whole wheat is pushing it, texturewise. More than that, and you'll have a grainy yucky thing on your hands.
Anyone know of any good resources for recipes that are meant to use whole wheat flour? Also, has anyone tried any of the "white whole wheat" flours that're on the market? King Arthur makes one, and I trust them (and their geeky baking & management ethics) utterly, but haven't tried it. (p.s. -- If you aren't following their blog, you should go do that. 'Cause sometimes they put pudding on top of cake and then brulée the pudding. You heard me.)
Having yet more clementines to use before they went all squishy, I boiled another one for a couple hours and pureed it like I would've for the cake, but then added the puree to this oatmeal cookie recipe (instead of the tangerine zest). Completely awesome. Also, instead of the drunken raisins, I made a half batch (half a bag) of sugared cranberries, except I just drained them (instead of draining and coating with sugar) after they were done cooking, and then stirred/mashed the cooled cranberries into the oatmeal cookie batter. They were a tiny bit tart, but played really well with the clementine flavor. Just add a minute or two to your bake time -- the cranberries contain a lot more moisture than raisins, so these cookies will need it.

Also, guys, a word about whole wheat flour. (This is partially a note to self, 'cause I keep forgetting.) You can safely substitute a quarter of the white flour in a recipe for whole wheat flour, and it'll add a bit of a nutty flavor (and nutrition) but won't really impact the texture or taste. Substituting out a third of your white flour for whole wheat is pushing it, texturewise. More than that, and you'll have a grainy yucky thing on your hands.
Anyone know of any good resources for recipes that are meant to use whole wheat flour? Also, has anyone tried any of the "white whole wheat" flours that're on the market? King Arthur makes one, and I trust them (and their geeky baking & management ethics) utterly, but haven't tried it. (p.s. -- If you aren't following their blog, you should go do that. 'Cause sometimes they put pudding on top of cake and then brulée the pudding. You heard me.)
Friday, January 29, 2010
restaurant: Woodfire Grill
SO. I went to Woodfire Grill (re-newly hot hotspot for localvores and fans of Kevin Gillespie's beard) a couple weeks ago and promised you a review, and I definitely haven't posted that yet. Except for how I'm posting it right now. It took me awhile because, guys, I apparently had a lot to say about this dinner. Which is an awesome thing.
I'd decided long before my roommate and I arrived that we were gonna do the whole-table-inclusive 5-course chef's tasting menu. Luckily (for him, as I would've probably asked the kitchen for a trout to slap him with otherwise), my roommate agreed. The menu and wine pairings (which are chosen by the owner, and offered for a separate charge) for the tasting are based on the whims of the market and kitchen each day, so I can nearly guarantee that if you go, you won't have the same dinner that we did. And they won't tell you what dishes you'll be tasting beforehand -- every course is a surprise. (I would like to sign up for more surprises like these.) This is what ours wound up being:
Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I have to report that the dinner started off a bit slow. A server was eager to take our drink order while we were waiting for our table in the comfortable lounge -- but our glasses of wine didn't actually show up until several minutes after we'd been seated, and bread didn't hit until after we'd ordered several minutes later, arriving (slightly chilled, so probably they weren't waiting for a batch to come out) along with our amuse. Perhaps they wanted the amuse to be the first thing we tasted? I wasn't running a timer, but the process of seating and ordering must've taken half an hour at the very least, which is awhile to wait when you're thirsty, hungry, and have a reservation. But that's my single complaint about the service -- for the rest of the evening, our waitress (and the entire fleet of other servers who were on hand) was warm and attentive, quick to explain, inform, and help.
But to the food! First out was an amuse bouche -- a black-eyed pea fritter with a spicy, creamy pickle dressing. Pure welcome and comfort. It was paired with a local sparkling wine that was a bit sweet for the dish, I thought, but the bubbles were just the thing for the light, crispy fritter. And luckily for wine-on-an-empty-stomach me, the vaguely belated bread basket contained a thick & chewy, lemon-zested, focaccia-type panbread; a darker, seeded peasant bread; and an addictively salted & herbed whipped butter. I could've filled up on the lemony one plus heavy schmears of butter alone, but I managed to abstain for the good of all of us.
The first full course was strips of battered & fried mushroom, slightly sweet, over a sharp & creamy cheese sauce with a drizzle of pungent candied garlic sauce. I found the fried mushroom a little oily after the first few bites, but it served well as a vehicle for the terrific sauces. I would have liked, in particular, to take home a vat of the cheese one. The wine pairing, an earthy Semillon, was perfect -- the sort of pairing that develops deeper flavors in both the wine and the dish.
Second course was seafood -- a roasted scallop and a few sweet, small shrimp, with a sprinkle of dill and a jewel-like salad of radish slices, cut paper-thin, and blood orange segments. My roommate, who dislikes seafood, cleaned the plate. I was less impressed with this dish than with all of the others; the scallop had a bit of grit to it, I wasn't entirely sure what the dill was doing besides mucking about, and the texture on both scallop and shrimp was more on the side of well-done than I personally prefer (I'm not sure how I feel about confit of shrimp). But the flavor of everything was good -- all very light and slightly sweet. (In retrospect, I think I would've wanted to have this before the fried mushrooms because the flavors in it were just so delicate.) The wine pairing, a Chenin Blanc, was another terrific match -- crisp and light with just enough sweetness.
Next came another taste from the kitchen, to cleanse and prep our palates for the heavier dishes ahead -- an oyster on the half-shell, dressed with a lobster cream and salt-cured salmon roe. And, okay, I never order raw oysters anywhere because, while I enjoy raw seafood, most places that serve raw oysters skeeze me right the hell out. But this was just (if you'll excuse me slipping into clichéd foodie hyperbole) ethereal. It didn't taste like shellfish -- it tasted like the ocean, salty, briny, and breezy. The cream played against this, pulling the flavor and mouthfeel into a richer, heavier place, and the roe balanced both out. And the wine pairing, a chardonnay, convinced a certain roommate who takes issue with the very existence of chards that the wine does indeed have a place in the world. In terms of wow factor and harmony of flavors, I'd say this was my favorite thing from the whole dinner.
Not to say that you should do something drastic like stop reading, 'cause next up, the third course, was a plate of little bitty quail quarters that I could've kept eating all night, served over a bed of stewed, creamy-textured potatoes and chewy mushrooms and circled with a salty chicken jus. I love game bird, and this was perhaps the best quail I've ever had, salty-sweet-crisp-tender all at once. Salty & sweet from the glaze over the crisp outer crust, with tender meat underneath. If I am ever fabulously wealthy, I'm going to eat something very much like those quailbits in the way that the plebes eat chicken wings. This was the one wine pairing, however, that I didn't think complimented the dish well at all. On the sweet side, the pinot blend made the glaze on the birds go sour, and had no power to cut the fat in the meat and ragout. Both my roommate and I prefer drier wines, though, and even if we were biased, one pairing slip the whole night ain't shabby.
The fourth and main course was -- of course -- pork. Pork two ways, in fact -- a medallion of pork loin and a thick chunk of pork belly, accompanied by a pork rind-studded risotto, a spear of picklish endive, and a schmear of apple vinegar sauce. The smokiness and tenderness involved in both pieces of meat was absolutely pornographic -- like the best beef tenderloin and sirloin, but in pig flavor. And the wine pairing -- a smoky, rich Garnacha -- enhanced it to the point that my roommate and I stopped talking and conversed only in indecently happy noises while we savored this dish. If this is the style of pork belly treatment that Tom Colicchio found fault with in the Top Chef season finale, well, I'll take his lifetime allotment of it. I disliked the endive -- whatever it was braised in (more apple vinegar?) made it too sour and bitter for me, even next to the fatty meat. (My roommate didn't mind it though -- I think I dislike vinegar more than the average bear.) But that was minor, forgivable. Oh, that smokiness. I'm afraid I'm going to hold all future pork dishes up to that one, and find them all lacking.
In the afterglow, the fifth course arrived -- two different dessert dishes, each with its own wine pairing! My considerable sweet-tooth and I were incredibly pleased. First, I tasted the molten-chocolate-filled chocolate crepe that was served over a sort of mocha latte soup with little nibs of cocoa and a spoonful of whipped cream. The flavors were just what I wanted after that pork, deep and dark and bittersweet. I thought the texture of the crepe was off -- a little too thick and spongy -- and that the sauce was a bit too thin. But the flavors went wonderfully with the tawny port it was served with (which I squeed a little about when the waitress poured it for me -- tawny port is one of my most favorite things on the planet when it's sort of masculine and nutty, like dessert whiskey more than dessert wine, and this was one of those).
Then my roommate and I switched plates and I tried the second dessert -- a small vanilla cake served with meringue and apple bits. Which was, strangely, also exactly what I wanted after the pork, sweet and warming with just a tiny hint of tartness. My roommate wasn't impressed by this one (though he's not a fan of sweets in general and cooked apples in particular), but as a baker myself, I very much was. (I did think the apples could've been cooked a tad more and incorporated into the cake, which, by itself, was bland after so many aggressive courses. But.) The cake's dense, heavy crumb, contained by a deeply caramelized crust, is something I'm going to attempt to replicate. And the meringue -- the meringue was paradigm-shifting, for a person with paradigms about pastry. It was what meringe can be, should be -- pudding-thick and so fresh that it managed to be sticky and creamy at the same time, like the best-ever marshmallow fluff. (I need to make this meringue. I need to put it on icebox pies, make cookie sandwiches out of it, serve it between layers of fruit and ice cream. But, um, anyway.) The dish was served with a chilled Sauternes that provided a slightly tart contrast to all the sweetness, and both the dish and the wine helped bring out the fruitiness in the other.
Overall, was this dinner worth the price tag of $65 per person plus wine, with the final bill including gratuity being up above $200? Um. That's a hard thing to answer. It was a special event for two food geeks, and I can write a huge part of the price tag off as being part of the experience. But I wouldn't do something like that more than once every couple of years, and only for people who I like very, very much. And if I go back, I'll keep a few things in mind to minimize the expense.
My advice:

Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I have to report that the dinner started off a bit slow. A server was eager to take our drink order while we were waiting for our table in the comfortable lounge -- but our glasses of wine didn't actually show up until several minutes after we'd been seated, and bread didn't hit until after we'd ordered several minutes later, arriving (slightly chilled, so probably they weren't waiting for a batch to come out) along with our amuse. Perhaps they wanted the amuse to be the first thing we tasted? I wasn't running a timer, but the process of seating and ordering must've taken half an hour at the very least, which is awhile to wait when you're thirsty, hungry, and have a reservation. But that's my single complaint about the service -- for the rest of the evening, our waitress (and the entire fleet of other servers who were on hand) was warm and attentive, quick to explain, inform, and help.
But to the food! First out was an amuse bouche -- a black-eyed pea fritter with a spicy, creamy pickle dressing. Pure welcome and comfort. It was paired with a local sparkling wine that was a bit sweet for the dish, I thought, but the bubbles were just the thing for the light, crispy fritter. And luckily for wine-on-an-empty-stomach me, the vaguely belated bread basket contained a thick & chewy, lemon-zested, focaccia-type panbread; a darker, seeded peasant bread; and an addictively salted & herbed whipped butter. I could've filled up on the lemony one plus heavy schmears of butter alone, but I managed to abstain for the good of all of us.
The first full course was strips of battered & fried mushroom, slightly sweet, over a sharp & creamy cheese sauce with a drizzle of pungent candied garlic sauce. I found the fried mushroom a little oily after the first few bites, but it served well as a vehicle for the terrific sauces. I would have liked, in particular, to take home a vat of the cheese one. The wine pairing, an earthy Semillon, was perfect -- the sort of pairing that develops deeper flavors in both the wine and the dish.
Second course was seafood -- a roasted scallop and a few sweet, small shrimp, with a sprinkle of dill and a jewel-like salad of radish slices, cut paper-thin, and blood orange segments. My roommate, who dislikes seafood, cleaned the plate. I was less impressed with this dish than with all of the others; the scallop had a bit of grit to it, I wasn't entirely sure what the dill was doing besides mucking about, and the texture on both scallop and shrimp was more on the side of well-done than I personally prefer (I'm not sure how I feel about confit of shrimp). But the flavor of everything was good -- all very light and slightly sweet. (In retrospect, I think I would've wanted to have this before the fried mushrooms because the flavors in it were just so delicate.) The wine pairing, a Chenin Blanc, was another terrific match -- crisp and light with just enough sweetness.
Next came another taste from the kitchen, to cleanse and prep our palates for the heavier dishes ahead -- an oyster on the half-shell, dressed with a lobster cream and salt-cured salmon roe. And, okay, I never order raw oysters anywhere because, while I enjoy raw seafood, most places that serve raw oysters skeeze me right the hell out. But this was just (if you'll excuse me slipping into clichéd foodie hyperbole) ethereal. It didn't taste like shellfish -- it tasted like the ocean, salty, briny, and breezy. The cream played against this, pulling the flavor and mouthfeel into a richer, heavier place, and the roe balanced both out. And the wine pairing, a chardonnay, convinced a certain roommate who takes issue with the very existence of chards that the wine does indeed have a place in the world. In terms of wow factor and harmony of flavors, I'd say this was my favorite thing from the whole dinner.
Not to say that you should do something drastic like stop reading, 'cause next up, the third course, was a plate of little bitty quail quarters that I could've kept eating all night, served over a bed of stewed, creamy-textured potatoes and chewy mushrooms and circled with a salty chicken jus. I love game bird, and this was perhaps the best quail I've ever had, salty-sweet-crisp-tender all at once. Salty & sweet from the glaze over the crisp outer crust, with tender meat underneath. If I am ever fabulously wealthy, I'm going to eat something very much like those quailbits in the way that the plebes eat chicken wings. This was the one wine pairing, however, that I didn't think complimented the dish well at all. On the sweet side, the pinot blend made the glaze on the birds go sour, and had no power to cut the fat in the meat and ragout. Both my roommate and I prefer drier wines, though, and even if we were biased, one pairing slip the whole night ain't shabby.
The fourth and main course was -- of course -- pork. Pork two ways, in fact -- a medallion of pork loin and a thick chunk of pork belly, accompanied by a pork rind-studded risotto, a spear of picklish endive, and a schmear of apple vinegar sauce. The smokiness and tenderness involved in both pieces of meat was absolutely pornographic -- like the best beef tenderloin and sirloin, but in pig flavor. And the wine pairing -- a smoky, rich Garnacha -- enhanced it to the point that my roommate and I stopped talking and conversed only in indecently happy noises while we savored this dish. If this is the style of pork belly treatment that Tom Colicchio found fault with in the Top Chef season finale, well, I'll take his lifetime allotment of it. I disliked the endive -- whatever it was braised in (more apple vinegar?) made it too sour and bitter for me, even next to the fatty meat. (My roommate didn't mind it though -- I think I dislike vinegar more than the average bear.) But that was minor, forgivable. Oh, that smokiness. I'm afraid I'm going to hold all future pork dishes up to that one, and find them all lacking.
In the afterglow, the fifth course arrived -- two different dessert dishes, each with its own wine pairing! My considerable sweet-tooth and I were incredibly pleased. First, I tasted the molten-chocolate-filled chocolate crepe that was served over a sort of mocha latte soup with little nibs of cocoa and a spoonful of whipped cream. The flavors were just what I wanted after that pork, deep and dark and bittersweet. I thought the texture of the crepe was off -- a little too thick and spongy -- and that the sauce was a bit too thin. But the flavors went wonderfully with the tawny port it was served with (which I squeed a little about when the waitress poured it for me -- tawny port is one of my most favorite things on the planet when it's sort of masculine and nutty, like dessert whiskey more than dessert wine, and this was one of those).
Then my roommate and I switched plates and I tried the second dessert -- a small vanilla cake served with meringue and apple bits. Which was, strangely, also exactly what I wanted after the pork, sweet and warming with just a tiny hint of tartness. My roommate wasn't impressed by this one (though he's not a fan of sweets in general and cooked apples in particular), but as a baker myself, I very much was. (I did think the apples could've been cooked a tad more and incorporated into the cake, which, by itself, was bland after so many aggressive courses. But.) The cake's dense, heavy crumb, contained by a deeply caramelized crust, is something I'm going to attempt to replicate. And the meringue -- the meringue was paradigm-shifting, for a person with paradigms about pastry. It was what meringe can be, should be -- pudding-thick and so fresh that it managed to be sticky and creamy at the same time, like the best-ever marshmallow fluff. (I need to make this meringue. I need to put it on icebox pies, make cookie sandwiches out of it, serve it between layers of fruit and ice cream. But, um, anyway.) The dish was served with a chilled Sauternes that provided a slightly tart contrast to all the sweetness, and both the dish and the wine helped bring out the fruitiness in the other.
Overall, was this dinner worth the price tag of $65 per person plus wine, with the final bill including gratuity being up above $200? Um. That's a hard thing to answer. It was a special event for two food geeks, and I can write a huge part of the price tag off as being part of the experience. But I wouldn't do something like that more than once every couple of years, and only for people who I like very, very much. And if I go back, I'll keep a few things in mind to minimize the expense.
My advice:
- Plan ahead and make a reservation well in advance. Not that you'll have much choice, there. The rumor I heard was that business at Woodfire is up 200% since Gillespie appeared on Top Chef (and good for them).
- Do the 5-course chef's tasting. It's only maybe 10 bucks more expensive than two entrees plus shared appetizers and dessert would be. And if you think you dislike certain foods, this is the sort of place that might change your mind.
- As tempting as the wine and cocktail list may be, just order water while you're waiting for your table if you're planning on doing wine pairings with your meal.
- Totally do wine pairings with your meal. It's pricey, but part of the adventure.
- But unless you're some kind of superhuman (or perhaps French), do the half-glass wine pairings.
- And even then, have only one out of every two members of your party order the wine. The half pours are still generous, plenty enough for two people to each sip before, during, and after each course. (Plus, like our waitress said, they want you to remember your nice dinner. And they wound up serving us 8 wines, so, yes. Even over the course of 2 hours, that's a lot of wine.)
- I have no idea whether they'll consider your request, but try asking for a table downstairs, in the cozy area by the wood ovens -- and especially along the back wall of the area, at one of the two corner tables with cushioned bench seating. We randomly scored one of these, and it was just excessively comfortable. And good for chef-watching -- we had a clear view of everything going on around the ovens.
- Enjoy yourself thoroughly and post, equally thoroughly, on the Intarwebs about your experience. And send me a link. The more foodpr0n I have, the less tempted I'll be to spend all my paychecks this way.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
adventures while not moving
I was in a bad mood last week so I reread Ellen Kushner's The Privilege of the Sword, which is double chocolate chip cookies in book form if you like 18th century social commentary, pretty dresses, awkward teenagers bein' awkward, swordplay, and characters who aren't straight. It's self-indulgent, but delicious things often are. (It's a sequel of sorts to Swordspoint, which is also delicious and recommended for people who like politics, swordplay, and gay dudes. And that's only a double entendre when Kushner wants it to be.) My only criticism of it is that, in jumping between first- and third-person narration, it occasionally stumbles. But I mean, like, twice. So that's okay. If you think you'd enjoy a period story about a practical teenage girl who both learns to fight and loves romance novels, you should mosey over to Small Beer Press and get yourself a copy. (And maybe buy some of their other books because they're running a remainder sale for a good cause, and read them, and tell me what you think. I've got Generation Loss and Meet Me in the Moon Room on my reading list, so I'll return the favor soonish.)
Now I'm going through Neil Gaiman's collection of shorts and poetry, Fragile Things. Except I'm skipping the poetry. (I expect this indicates that I'm a horrific sociopath of a poet, and/or that I made a good choice when I didn't try to apply for any MFA poetry programs. I am comfortable with both of these.) So far I think I enjoy Gaiman more when he's writing novels or graphic novels (or blogposts), but his turns of phrase and pieces of atmosphere are nonetheless delightful. And/or creepy. And/or delightfully creepy.
Ubi es Caelum has a new blogthing where she's writing very openly about herself and her life and her brain. This is something that I do not have the guts to do, in a metaphorically literal sort of way. I do not have the kind of guts that would stand up to public self-evisceration and display, the skin pinned back, however prettily, like an anatomist's cadaver. But it's wonderful when a really good writer does, so I encourage you to go read her stuff.
Now I'm going through Neil Gaiman's collection of shorts and poetry, Fragile Things. Except I'm skipping the poetry. (I expect this indicates that I'm a horrific sociopath of a poet, and/or that I made a good choice when I didn't try to apply for any MFA poetry programs. I am comfortable with both of these.) So far I think I enjoy Gaiman more when he's writing novels or graphic novels (or blogposts), but his turns of phrase and pieces of atmosphere are nonetheless delightful. And/or creepy. And/or delightfully creepy.
Ubi es Caelum has a new blogthing where she's writing very openly about herself and her life and her brain. This is something that I do not have the guts to do, in a metaphorically literal sort of way. I do not have the kind of guts that would stand up to public self-evisceration and display, the skin pinned back, however prettily, like an anatomist's cadaver. But it's wonderful when a really good writer does, so I encourage you to go read her stuff.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
film: The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus
Got out to see Terry Gilliam's The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus last weekend -- y'know, the last flick that Heath Ledger, dreamboat of bad Shakespeare remakes and inappropriately sexy terror of Gotham, worked on? Which Gilliam got three of Ledger's actor friends (Johnny Depp, Jude Law, and Colin Farrell, a telescoping progression of talent and yum) to finish in Ledger's stead?
Gilliam is my very favorite director whose films I frequently fall asleep during, and I would've wanted to see Imaginarium for any and all of the actors attached, so, y'know, it would've had to have been something just shockingly terrible for me to have disliked it -- but really and truly, I loved it. It was the most terrifically Pythonesque thing I've seen from Gilliam since possibly Baron von Munchausen, surreal and dead-serious silly, with his signature rambling narrative and cartoonishly dreamlike landscapes, inhabitants, and objects. It's not altogether a pleasant dream -- in parts it's quite upsetting, especially on reflection of Ledger's death -- but I love it all the more for its deep, dark ripples. Because it's a film about people -- about their desires and deeds and efforts and beliefs and souls -- and you can't do that without a good measure of darkness. And, like all my favorite stories, in its chewy center it's all about storytelling.
Also, it's got my absolute favorite casting of the Devil ever. And a heart-lockingly lovely heroine wearing costumes that I would fight you for.
If you have three hours (plus maybe a couple for mental recovery) and you want to be transported, you should go see it. And you should avoid reading anything about the plot if you can. Letting Gilliam unhurriedly unfurl the story for you is half the fun.
Gilliam is my very favorite director whose films I frequently fall asleep during, and I would've wanted to see Imaginarium for any and all of the actors attached, so, y'know, it would've had to have been something just shockingly terrible for me to have disliked it -- but really and truly, I loved it. It was the most terrifically Pythonesque thing I've seen from Gilliam since possibly Baron von Munchausen, surreal and dead-serious silly, with his signature rambling narrative and cartoonishly dreamlike landscapes, inhabitants, and objects. It's not altogether a pleasant dream -- in parts it's quite upsetting, especially on reflection of Ledger's death -- but I love it all the more for its deep, dark ripples. Because it's a film about people -- about their desires and deeds and efforts and beliefs and souls -- and you can't do that without a good measure of darkness. And, like all my favorite stories, in its chewy center it's all about storytelling.
Also, it's got my absolute favorite casting of the Devil ever. And a heart-lockingly lovely heroine wearing costumes that I would fight you for.
If you have three hours (plus maybe a couple for mental recovery) and you want to be transported, you should go see it. And you should avoid reading anything about the plot if you can. Letting Gilliam unhurriedly unfurl the story for you is half the fun.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
consumerism WOW it's december already
It's time, friends and colleagues, for a precociously holiday-themed edition of Consumerism Wow! Fellow Awesomancer and t-shirt lover Adam P. Knave and I have teamed up again to tell you about why we like some things -- not just t-shirts, this time! -- that we think you will like, too.
Part 1 of this veritable thing-liking extravaganza can be found here, on Adam's blog. Click through if you'd like to see some of the things that I think you should consider purchasing, along with Adam'scompletely vaguely super-incorrect reasons for why I think so. The following is Part 2: Adam's picks, and my explanations for why he likes them! Perhaps you should read about them now?
THINGY #1

Lauren: Oh man! Someone illustrated that fanfic you wrote and put the picture on a t-shirt? Is there a picture on the back of you as the zombie leader of the zombie-Harlem Globetrotters?
Adam: No there isn't and I'm rather ups... HEY! Nice try but you won't get me to admit my zombie-doo fanfic writing ways THAT easily!
THINGY #2

Lauren: Branding for fictional corporations is the best kind of branding, 'cause you don't have to feel guilty about how they treat their employees or source their materials 'cause they're all fictional. Also, you can't stop dreaming about electric sheep. And Rutger Hauer.
Adam: Rutger Hauer is a fine, fine looking man. You know, I wonder how Blade-Doo-Runner would go...
THINGY #3

Lauren: You want to remind people that real vampires can sparkle and be adorable if they damn well want to.
Adam: Exactly. Except for the sparkly bit. And the adorable bit. Also the vampire bit, if you want to be picky. I mean... yeah. But otherwise? Spot on!
THINGY #4

Lauren: You're just hoping that people will do weird shit around you so that you can turn them into characters and plot devices in your writing.
Adam: I don't need them to do anything special for that. No I just want the cover. The more people out there causing trouble the less my own schemes will be noticed and stopped. I just want to use society as a looky loo. Is that so wrong?
THINGY #5

Lauren: Aww, this one is actually really sweet. Unless by “things” you mean “more post-zombie-apocalyptic Scooby Doo self-insertion fanfiction.”
Adam: Why would I mean that? I mean, who would ever... what makes you think that? YOU CAN'T PROVE ANYTHING, LAUREN!
THINGY #6

Lauren: I don't care why you want this. If you saved all of your NES and Genesis came cartridges, and all that stands between me and the most badass throwdown marathon of Super Street Fighter II: The New Challengers and Bubble Bobble is the purchase of this gadget and a plane ticket, I'm coming to your apartment in 3 to 5 processing & shipping days.
Adam: I was thinking of buying a few of my old carts back, actually. Yer on, Spanky!
THINGY #7

Lauren: They didn't have a Duck Dodgers statuette?
Adam: Oh, see, now that's just mean, that is. It's Buck! The original space badass! We don't mock Buck, we just don't. That's like mocking the baby Jeebus.
THINGY #8

Lauren: Okay clearly this is a joke shirt 'cause we've already discussed that if you could travel back in time, you'd be wearing really sleek suits and drinking martinis in the 60's, not hanging out here & now wearing t-shirts. You want this shirt so you can throw rival time travelers off your space-time scent.
Adam: Well that was the plan until you ruined it! If it wasn't for you and those zombie kids!
THINGY #9

Lauren: Shiny bits of plastic to taunt your kitty with from a high-standing shelf! Before you make this purchase, I recommend making sure that kitty hasn't built a jetpack based on the design from that Buck Rogers statuette.
Adam: My cat could not use a jetpack. She has no thumbs. I gave her one, to make sure, and she just licked it and sat on it. She has no interest in flying.
THINGY #10

Lauren: Oh, nevermind, with this you will have all the protection your shiny bits of plastic will need from evil bejetpacked kitty. Kitty will be easily subdued! This is a titanium folding kitty-incapacitation system! PLUS it will be a handy tool for eating with when I serve you some delicious homemadekittypop tarts that are too fresh and hot to pick up!
Adam: Can we please do a comic - Jetpack Kitty vs The Spork? Like, serious please? C'mon. No, wait, why are you running away, Lauren? Was it something I said?
And other than posting this evidence of why she fled, Lauren the grammarmonkey was never seen nor heard from again. Happy Consumer Holidays, folks!
Part 1 of this veritable thing-liking extravaganza can be found here, on Adam's blog. Click through if you'd like to see some of the things that I think you should consider purchasing, along with Adam's

Lauren: Oh man! Someone illustrated that fanfic you wrote and put the picture on a t-shirt? Is there a picture on the back of you as the zombie leader of the zombie-Harlem Globetrotters?
Adam: No there isn't and I'm rather ups... HEY! Nice try but you won't get me to admit my zombie-doo fanfic writing ways THAT easily!

Lauren: Branding for fictional corporations is the best kind of branding, 'cause you don't have to feel guilty about how they treat their employees or source their materials 'cause they're all fictional. Also, you can't stop dreaming about electric sheep. And Rutger Hauer.
Adam: Rutger Hauer is a fine, fine looking man. You know, I wonder how Blade-Doo-Runner would go...

Lauren: You want to remind people that real vampires can sparkle and be adorable if they damn well want to.
Adam: Exactly. Except for the sparkly bit. And the adorable bit. Also the vampire bit, if you want to be picky. I mean... yeah. But otherwise? Spot on!

Lauren: You're just hoping that people will do weird shit around you so that you can turn them into characters and plot devices in your writing.
Adam: I don't need them to do anything special for that. No I just want the cover. The more people out there causing trouble the less my own schemes will be noticed and stopped. I just want to use society as a looky loo. Is that so wrong?

Lauren: Aww, this one is actually really sweet. Unless by “things” you mean “more post-zombie-apocalyptic Scooby Doo self-insertion fanfiction.”
Adam: Why would I mean that? I mean, who would ever... what makes you think that? YOU CAN'T PROVE ANYTHING, LAUREN!

Lauren: I don't care why you want this. If you saved all of your NES and Genesis came cartridges, and all that stands between me and the most badass throwdown marathon of Super Street Fighter II: The New Challengers and Bubble Bobble is the purchase of this gadget and a plane ticket, I'm coming to your apartment in 3 to 5 processing & shipping days.
Adam: I was thinking of buying a few of my old carts back, actually. Yer on, Spanky!

Lauren: They didn't have a Duck Dodgers statuette?
Adam: Oh, see, now that's just mean, that is. It's Buck! The original space badass! We don't mock Buck, we just don't. That's like mocking the baby Jeebus.

Lauren: Okay clearly this is a joke shirt 'cause we've already discussed that if you could travel back in time, you'd be wearing really sleek suits and drinking martinis in the 60's, not hanging out here & now wearing t-shirts. You want this shirt so you can throw rival time travelers off your space-time scent.
Adam: Well that was the plan until you ruined it! If it wasn't for you and those zombie kids!

Lauren: Shiny bits of plastic to taunt your kitty with from a high-standing shelf! Before you make this purchase, I recommend making sure that kitty hasn't built a jetpack based on the design from that Buck Rogers statuette.
Adam: My cat could not use a jetpack. She has no thumbs. I gave her one, to make sure, and she just licked it and sat on it. She has no interest in flying.

Lauren: Oh, nevermind, with this you will have all the protection your shiny bits of plastic will need from evil bejetpacked kitty. Kitty will be easily subdued! This is a titanium folding kitty-incapacitation system! PLUS it will be a handy tool for eating with when I serve you some delicious homemade
Adam: Can we please do a comic - Jetpack Kitty vs The Spork? Like, serious please? C'mon. No, wait, why are you running away, Lauren? Was it something I said?
And other than posting this evidence of why she fled, Lauren the grammarmonkey was never seen nor heard from again. Happy Consumer Holidays, folks!
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