Happy New Year, faithful readers! I hope it's treated you well so far. (It treated me to a mini-marathon of Bones [can I register to receive one of each of the Deschanel sisters as a late Christmas present? theyaresocute], not entirely losing at Halo, and eating wonderful holiday treats from wonderful friends plus pork chops & sauerkraut and kale and roasted root vegetables cooked by an also-wonderful dreamthrum. I will gladly take a whole year of these sorts of small delights.)
If you're like me in that you're not quite ready to give up holiday foods yet, check out CurvyGirlGuide's collection of go-to holiday dishes -- they featured a few of mine!
I'm hoping to have some new ones to share with you soon. Things I've made in the recent past that I'm looking forward to refining in the near future include baklava and peanut butter cookies. If you've got any secrets to either of these, let me know! I will give you shoutouts & lurve.
And in further culinary adventures, tomorrow I'm gonna try making marshmallows! Wish me luck & few-to-no burns from molten sugar, and I'll let you know how it goes. But first, sleep, a quick run out for graham crackers and Hershey's bars, and the building of the sort of fire that will produce good hot coals. In that order, yes.
Showing posts with label halo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label halo. Show all posts
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Thursday, October 7, 2010
consumerism WOW: huh it's October
Adam and I somehow lost September. In a tragic accident. Involving gummy fish. Apologies, faithful Consumerism WOW readers! To balm your wounded hearts, we offer this October edition of Consumerism WOW! For those of you who look so confused, a) your keys are probably in the vegetable crisper again and b) Consumerism WOW is where either Adam P. Knave or myself (in this case, myself) professes desire for several commercially available products, then the other of us (in this case, Adam) tries to guess why the first person wants said products. And the guesser is usually so wrong that we then threaten their pets with sporks.
Thing #1
Adam: You want this "Phantom" quartz bullet in order to shoot The Phantom Menace. I can see it now -- you with a sniper rifle, one bullet, and only Jar Jar between you and a shitty trilogy ending for all time.
Lauren: No! Well, yes. Well, I mostly want this because I think that turning something functional and potentially violent into pretty jewelry is nifty, and also you can't prove that I've been playing so much Halo: Reach just to practice my sniper skills. Also, no jury of my peers would convict me (unless they were 6-year olds, and this is precisely why we don't let 6-year olds sit for jury duty).
Thing #2
Adam: Are you saying you're stressed, Lauren? Is that a jab at our working relationship? Do I stress you? Are you stressing at me? Are you? Because I don't see anyone else here.
Lauren: I like to think that I'm not stressing at you, but rather with you. There is no "I" in "Oh fuckcakes, when were we supposed to have that done?"
Thing #3
Adam: The steampunk controller is pretty cool, but looks like it would hurt your thumbs. Why do you want to make people hurt their thumbs, Lauren? WHY?
Lauren: I'd rather people hurt their thumbs than have to live without video games merely for having been born in the Victorian era. Also this shirt has a bit of design on the back as well as the front! Comprehensive use of the whole t-shirt canvas is important to me.
Thing #4
Adam: I 100% approve of this. Just, you know, watch out for really pale men in Hawaiian shirts knocking on your door late at night, 'k Babs?
Lauren: I always do! (A good friend of mine taught me that much.) Just to be clear, you mean this guy, right?
Thing #5
Adam: I can not approve of this. It is not a real bee. I thought, perhaps, it was a real bee. Cast in metal. Cast down! But no. It is a wireframe bee. A faux bee. Which is close to a Flow-Bee. Which is even worse. So no. I do not know why you would want a flow-bee. Perhaps you like Tron?
Lauren: No no, I want this jewelry because when I'm wearing it, people who want to flirt with me can say, "I like my women like I like my coffee -- covered in bees!" And also because I love bees.
Thing #6
Adam: I enjoy how the handles look like wooden mustaches. I just thought I would throw that out there so that if you ever got this bag you would forever think it. I say things like that because I care, Lauren. But as to why you want it, well, that much is obvious. But I will tell you right now you're wrong. You can not smuggle kittens in that bag.
Lauren: I don't think there has ever been a mustachioed purse, ever, in the entire existence of the Universe, that has been more suited to smuggling kittens. C'mon, they could keep themselves entertained by playing with the beaded tassels! Don't you try to ruin my most-adorable-ever smuggling ring.
Thing #7
Adam: Oh great. I know you want this because you think it will go with your steampunk corset and jodhpurs. However, it will also end with far too many people asking to taste. And your baseball bat arm will get tired. Just a thought. Respect the swinging arm.
Lauren: But you forget, I will have a tortuous yet intriguing game controller with me. When people start to ask for tastes, I distract them with the controller and then their thumbs are bleeding too much for them to think about saying inappropriate things.
Thing #8
Adam: You want this ring because it symbolizes both Captain Planet and Jem for you, at the same time. Bravo.
Lauren: ....Well now that you mention it, yes. This ring is clearly From The '80s, and therefore fabulous. Radical. Tubular?
Thing #9
Adam: So are pixel fossils from 8-bit game monsters? Are you a video game archeologist? 8-bit-ana Jones? Wow, that line was bad enough I won't snark at this shirt. Sorry. Next.
Lauren: First off, this shirt has a glow-in-the-dark pixelated T-rex on it, you shouldn't snark at it anyway. Secondly, check out those tiny little glow-in-the-dark pixely T-rex arms! They're so vestigial and becoming! I think that's a trend that genetics should bring back.
Thing #10
Adam: Look, Lauren, I know you liked Finding Nemo, mmmkay, but this is a sickness. Stop getting your fishpron on. It's upsetting. And it makes us wonder about lobster suits and raise eyebrows.
Lauren: It's clearly not fishpron, it's tragic, star-crossed merpeople lurve! I hope that by next month you'll have grown enough, heartwise, to realize the value in unbees, cute contraband, and emo merpeople.
And so, with a challenge issued and sleep to be had, we leave you each on your own in the consumer-Internet wilderness for another month! Be brave out there, intrepid readers!
Adam: You want this "Phantom" quartz bullet in order to shoot The Phantom Menace. I can see it now -- you with a sniper rifle, one bullet, and only Jar Jar between you and a shitty trilogy ending for all time.
Lauren: No! Well, yes. Well, I mostly want this because I think that turning something functional and potentially violent into pretty jewelry is nifty, and also you can't prove that I've been playing so much Halo: Reach just to practice my sniper skills. Also, no jury of my peers would convict me (unless they were 6-year olds, and this is precisely why we don't let 6-year olds sit for jury duty).
Adam: Are you saying you're stressed, Lauren? Is that a jab at our working relationship? Do I stress you? Are you stressing at me? Are you? Because I don't see anyone else here.
Lauren: I like to think that I'm not stressing at you, but rather with you. There is no "I" in "Oh fuckcakes, when were we supposed to have that done?"
Adam: The steampunk controller is pretty cool, but looks like it would hurt your thumbs. Why do you want to make people hurt their thumbs, Lauren? WHY?
Lauren: I'd rather people hurt their thumbs than have to live without video games merely for having been born in the Victorian era. Also this shirt has a bit of design on the back as well as the front! Comprehensive use of the whole t-shirt canvas is important to me.
Adam: I 100% approve of this. Just, you know, watch out for really pale men in Hawaiian shirts knocking on your door late at night, 'k Babs?
Lauren: I always do! (A good friend of mine taught me that much.) Just to be clear, you mean this guy, right?
Adam: I can not approve of this. It is not a real bee. I thought, perhaps, it was a real bee. Cast in metal. Cast down! But no. It is a wireframe bee. A faux bee. Which is close to a Flow-Bee. Which is even worse. So no. I do not know why you would want a flow-bee. Perhaps you like Tron?
Lauren: No no, I want this jewelry because when I'm wearing it, people who want to flirt with me can say, "I like my women like I like my coffee -- covered in bees!" And also because I love bees.
Adam: I enjoy how the handles look like wooden mustaches. I just thought I would throw that out there so that if you ever got this bag you would forever think it. I say things like that because I care, Lauren. But as to why you want it, well, that much is obvious. But I will tell you right now you're wrong. You can not smuggle kittens in that bag.
Lauren: I don't think there has ever been a mustachioed purse, ever, in the entire existence of the Universe, that has been more suited to smuggling kittens. C'mon, they could keep themselves entertained by playing with the beaded tassels! Don't you try to ruin my most-adorable-ever smuggling ring.
Adam: Oh great. I know you want this because you think it will go with your steampunk corset and jodhpurs. However, it will also end with far too many people asking to taste. And your baseball bat arm will get tired. Just a thought. Respect the swinging arm.
Lauren: But you forget, I will have a tortuous yet intriguing game controller with me. When people start to ask for tastes, I distract them with the controller and then their thumbs are bleeding too much for them to think about saying inappropriate things.
Adam: You want this ring because it symbolizes both Captain Planet and Jem for you, at the same time. Bravo.
Lauren: ....Well now that you mention it, yes. This ring is clearly From The '80s, and therefore fabulous. Radical. Tubular?
Adam: So are pixel fossils from 8-bit game monsters? Are you a video game archeologist? 8-bit-ana Jones? Wow, that line was bad enough I won't snark at this shirt. Sorry. Next.
Lauren: First off, this shirt has a glow-in-the-dark pixelated T-rex on it, you shouldn't snark at it anyway. Secondly, check out those tiny little glow-in-the-dark pixely T-rex arms! They're so vestigial and becoming! I think that's a trend that genetics should bring back.
Adam: Look, Lauren, I know you liked Finding Nemo, mmmkay, but this is a sickness. Stop getting your fishpron on. It's upsetting. And it makes us wonder about lobster suits and raise eyebrows.
Lauren: It's clearly not fishpron, it's tragic, star-crossed merpeople lurve! I hope that by next month you'll have grown enough, heartwise, to realize the value in unbees, cute contraband, and emo merpeople.
And so, with a challenge issued and sleep to be had, we leave you each on your own in the consumer-Internet wilderness for another month! Be brave out there, intrepid readers!
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
good comedy, good food, and killin' digital stuff
Some things that I may or may not be doing this week:
* Playing Halo on a day other than Wednesday. Shocking, I know! (I usually play every week on Wednesday nights 'cause sticking plasma grenades to digital people prevents me from needing to stick plasma grenades to real people. If you ever want to join me, friend me on Xbox Live and drop me a note -- gamertag: your emo kid. With spaces, yes. You wouldn't know it from being on Live, but Xbox does allow grammar to happen in gamertags.) This is because I'll be:
* Cheering for my friend Thomas Jenkins at the Laughing Skull during the first night of the Dogwood Homegrown Comedy Binge tonight. Which is going on at The Vortex Midtown from 7:30 to 10:30 (or thereabouts), with a $10 cover. I'm glad it's at The Vortex 'cause I've been craving tasty beers in general and tripels specifically, which I won't need in order to sit through Thomas's set (I'm so. blessed. that all of my performer friends are actually talented), but will certainly welcome after what feels like a 2-week-long first half of a work week. You should come!
* Making reservations for dinner at one of the restaurants participating in Inman Park Restaurant Week. It goes through Sunday the 14th! I love gigs like this 'cause they encourage me to try new places and actually get a sampling of the menu -- usually when I'm out to eat, I'll have my entrée and maybe try a bite of someone else's, but won't go for the apps or desserts. Smaller portions of more things for reasonable prices = The Ultimate Lauren Dining Experience. (If you're thinking of going, I personally recommend Wisteria, which does really lovely things with pork and, separately, chocolate.)
* Avoiding spending my entire day Bejeweling on my phone. Guys I never should have bought that game. I have a Bejeweled problem. When I close my eyes, I see the afterburns of gem stacks on my eyelids. [Which is still better than how I get when I've been playing too much Bioshock (i.e., dreaming about being armed only with a length of pipe and having, as my only plasmid, the power to grow a length of pipe out of my arm, which is useful right up until I'm not Wolverine and run into a splicer wielding a machine gun) or Katamari Damancy (i.e., driving around thinking that I should be rolling up the pedestrians and street signs)].
What've you got goin' on, gentle readers? Anything in Atlanta that I should add to my list?
* Playing Halo on a day other than Wednesday. Shocking, I know! (I usually play every week on Wednesday nights 'cause sticking plasma grenades to digital people prevents me from needing to stick plasma grenades to real people. If you ever want to join me, friend me on Xbox Live and drop me a note -- gamertag: your emo kid. With spaces, yes. You wouldn't know it from being on Live, but Xbox does allow grammar to happen in gamertags.) This is because I'll be:
* Cheering for my friend Thomas Jenkins at the Laughing Skull during the first night of the Dogwood Homegrown Comedy Binge tonight. Which is going on at The Vortex Midtown from 7:30 to 10:30 (or thereabouts), with a $10 cover. I'm glad it's at The Vortex 'cause I've been craving tasty beers in general and tripels specifically, which I won't need in order to sit through Thomas's set (I'm so. blessed. that all of my performer friends are actually talented), but will certainly welcome after what feels like a 2-week-long first half of a work week. You should come!
* Making reservations for dinner at one of the restaurants participating in Inman Park Restaurant Week. It goes through Sunday the 14th! I love gigs like this 'cause they encourage me to try new places and actually get a sampling of the menu -- usually when I'm out to eat, I'll have my entrée and maybe try a bite of someone else's, but won't go for the apps or desserts. Smaller portions of more things for reasonable prices = The Ultimate Lauren Dining Experience. (If you're thinking of going, I personally recommend Wisteria, which does really lovely things with pork and, separately, chocolate.)
* Avoiding spending my entire day Bejeweling on my phone. Guys I never should have bought that game. I have a Bejeweled problem. When I close my eyes, I see the afterburns of gem stacks on my eyelids. [Which is still better than how I get when I've been playing too much Bioshock (i.e., dreaming about being armed only with a length of pipe and having, as my only plasmid, the power to grow a length of pipe out of my arm, which is useful right up until I'm not Wolverine and run into a splicer wielding a machine gun) or Katamari Damancy (i.e., driving around thinking that I should be rolling up the pedestrians and street signs)].
What've you got goin' on, gentle readers? Anything in Atlanta that I should add to my list?
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
The Blood That Bonds
Back when I was just a wee little edit-monkey, fresh out of the English department of the University of Florida, I filled my free time (i.e., the time during which I wasn't glued to Monster.com, dancing at Market Street Pub's free-cover 80's night, or playing some serious Halo 1) with lots of odd editing jobs. I proofread a few novels, including both modern and historical Mormon-slanted romances, pro bono for a vanity press. I worked a couple grammatical kinks out of a comic book or two for my friends the Killer Robots, who were collaborating with (omfg) Bob Burden in a Flaming Carrot crossover at the time, in exchange for a few bucks, a few drinks, and a free ticket to Dragon*Con. But Christopher Buecheler was the first author who actually paid me to proof an actual novel.
It involved vampires and hookers and action and lurve, and I cared for it like it was my own strange little wordbaby. Christopher and I fell out of touch after I worked on the first part of the story -- he was still writing the second part, and we both became busy with our day jobs.
Flash forward 5 years -- past the stints I worked handling nutrition textbook manuscripts, proofreading gay male erotica written by and for women, editing a novel about cartoon cereal mascots, and copyediting all the rheumatology ever -- to about a month ago, which is when I received an e-mail out of the great #0000FF yonder from one Christopher Buecheler.
He's launched that first book I worked on, The Blood That Bonds, online, and is currently offering it as a free download in a number of a formats, hoping to manifest the reader and maybe-hopefully-even publisher interest that the story deserves.
He's also convinced Garry Brown to do a lot of really gorgeous artwork for the story & characters.
The Blood That Bonds is an urban horror-ish title along the lines of the Christopher Pike and R. L. Stine novels I loved when I was in high school, and still indulge in via things like Charlaine Harris's Sookie Stackhouse series and Mike Carey's Felix Castor books -- it's supernatural, sexy, violent, and filled with equal parts shock value and earnest emotion. If you or a teenager you know thought you might've enjoyed Twilight if all the vampires hadn't had so much sand in their vaginas, you should give The Blood That Bonds a go. It contains 99% less vampiral vagina sand, guaranteed. And for the low, low price of zero American dollars, it's worth at least a download & taste test, right? Right.
It involved vampires and hookers and action and lurve, and I cared for it like it was my own strange little wordbaby. Christopher and I fell out of touch after I worked on the first part of the story -- he was still writing the second part, and we both became busy with our day jobs.
Flash forward 5 years -- past the stints I worked handling nutrition textbook manuscripts, proofreading gay male erotica written by and for women, editing a novel about cartoon cereal mascots, and copyediting all the rheumatology ever -- to about a month ago, which is when I received an e-mail out of the great #0000FF yonder from one Christopher Buecheler.
He's launched that first book I worked on, The Blood That Bonds, online, and is currently offering it as a free download in a number of a formats, hoping to manifest the reader and maybe-hopefully-even publisher interest that the story deserves.He's also convinced Garry Brown to do a lot of really gorgeous artwork for the story & characters.
The Blood That Bonds is an urban horror-ish title along the lines of the Christopher Pike and R. L. Stine novels I loved when I was in high school, and still indulge in via things like Charlaine Harris's Sookie Stackhouse series and Mike Carey's Felix Castor books -- it's supernatural, sexy, violent, and filled with equal parts shock value and earnest emotion. If you or a teenager you know thought you might've enjoyed Twilight if all the vampires hadn't had so much sand in their vaginas, you should give The Blood That Bonds a go. It contains 99% less vampiral vagina sand, guaranteed. And for the low, low price of zero American dollars, it's worth at least a download & taste test, right? Right.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
zombie symposium video +ODST
For anyone who missed it (or who wants to create a greatest hits edit or fan music video*), the entirety of the Atlanta Zombie Symposium is available for watching on the vast and multitudinous Intarwebs! Laszlo posted nice links to all of the video bits on one of his online soapboxes, SRF Heavy Industries, which you should be reading anyway.
Aaaand now back to Halo: ODST. Most hilarious voice cast ever. No I won't tell you who, you have to play the game. I'm digging the audio backstory pieces -- they remind me of ilovebees, which was a promotional alternate-reality game for Halo 2 with a component of audio drama and which I have huge nostalgia for. Also, the pistol has a scope like in the first Halo! Oh how I missed being cheap with the pistol.
* PLS DO THIS NAO.
Aaaand now back to Halo: ODST. Most hilarious voice cast ever. No I won't tell you who, you have to play the game. I'm digging the audio backstory pieces -- they remind me of ilovebees, which was a promotional alternate-reality game for Halo 2 with a component of audio drama and which I have huge nostalgia for. Also, the pistol has a scope like in the first Halo! Oh how I missed being cheap with the pistol.
* PLS DO THIS NAO.
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