girl talk thursday friday: wearing awesome stuff

I haven't written an entry for Girl Talk Thursday in… 29 weeks. That's more than two, which is a lot. I'm chiming in on this one 'cause it's a thing that buzzes around in my brain a lot but rarely comes to the forefront of my thoughts, and I'm trying to change that. 'Cause feeling sexy/powerful/awesome is, well, awesome, and what I'm wearing hella crazy affects whether I feel those ways. (This is something I possibly only became aware of in the past 3 years. Guys, it's an excellent thing to be aware of. Even if it leads me to arrive late to every social event I'm nervous about [aka most of them] 'cause I feel that if I can just find the perfect outfit, everything else will fall into place.) So, what makes me feel sexy/powerful/awesome?


Dresses + heels. This one occasionally makes the feminist in me want to punch the Universe in the face, but for serious, strangers treat me differently -- more respectfully and graciously -- when I bother to put on a well-fitting dress and a pair of heels. This leads to my feeling like some kind of adult human being, which is an elusive thing for me so I sorta bask in it when it happens.

Cute bras that fit really well. Okay, so I'm busty. You might think this is auto-awesome. But with the wrong bra, it's less sexy and more saggy/slouchy. For years I thought that my only two choices were to a) wear a cute, padded, boob-wrangling bra that fits poorly and makes me uncomfortable or b) wear a huge, full-coverage, unpadded bra that technically fits but makes me feel like an old lady. And then I spent two hours trying on everything in Macy's lingerie department that seemed vaguely cute and me-sized, regardless of price. I tried a few different band and cup sizes with each brand and model, 'cause even with sizes that are ostensibly measured in something so concrete as inches, there was noticeable variance. And I found a couple bras that are cute and fit me, both, and I splurged on them and brought my lunch to work a few extra times over the next few weeks. They make my clothes fit better. Seriously, best time & money ever spent.

Weird jewelry. My day-to-day jewelry collection is a conglomeration of odd things I've made wearable (like old keys, transistors, and bits of ribbon), geeky handmade things (like my glass squid pendant or typewriter key earrings), and artsy things I inherited from my mother (think deco nouveau). I love feeling creative, supporting independent artists, and wearing things that have stories and memories behind them. And I suppose this is a little postmodern of me, but I love featuring the beauty of everyday objects. Things don't have to be new or expensive to be pretty! And when I wear weird jewelry as ornaments to classy work outfits, I feel less like The Man.

Chunky boots. I know, this is so 1995 of me, but I heart my Docs and riding boots. Steel toes and one-inch heels make me feel like I can take on the world.


So what do you wear that makes you feel sexy/powerful/awesome?

Girl Talk Any Day I Please: halloween costumes

Aside from a couple years in high school when I was clearly way too cool to dress up for Halloween (I was on the yearbook staff so I'm not sure how I came to that conclusion), I've always kinda reveled in Halloween costumes. And costume-party costumes. And Rock-Band-party costumes. And hay-we're-bored-let's-play-dressup costumes. I have way more costume pieces than shame, folks.

Freshman year of college I did I fairly half-assed Trinity costume for Halloween -- happily, no photographs survive. (I won Sexiest Costume at my dorm's party, but had already left to go dick around online, so they gave it to the runner up. Did I mention not-cool-at-all?) Sophomore year I did Death, from Sandman:


(I was baking cookies for Kate-the-probable-photographer & Gabe's Silent Hill-themed party.)

Junior year I didn't dress up 'cause I went to signing Bruce Campbell was doing for his autobiography, If Chins Could Kill, in Orlando. He stayed until everyone got through the line, which took longer than they'd suspected 'cause he was being awesome and chatty and taking pictures with people:


(That's Steve [dressed as Arthur Dent], Bruce, Gabe, and me. I guess I'm dressed as a crazy fangirl?)

A few of us went to visit friends at FSU my senior year, and I reprised my Trinity costume with my still-not-quite-short-enough haircut:


(A Matrix tableau: Steve [as Nightcrawler] impersonating Neo, schoolgirl!Aaron impersonating an Agent, and me impersonating, y'know, Trinity.)

In '05 I had quiet, noncostumed hangouts with my family nouveau, and in '06 I was a goth fairy, which I can't find any photos of. In '07 I went as Becky, from Sin City, but again photo evidence is scarce. This is the best I can find:


(I'm on the couch, not the nice blond lady. Perhaps obviously?)

Following the theme of costumes for which I don't have to wear wigs, I was Daria Morgendorffer in '07. And can't find any photos! But there's lots from last year, when a few friends and I did Dark Knight-style (less cartoony, more scary & realistic) DC comics villains. I was Harley Quinn:


(With Phil as the Joker... photo by Matt, I think.)

And I have no idea what I'm gonna do this year! I've always wanted to do an Audrey from Little Shop of Horrors, or Elvira, ooor lots of stuff that I can't think of right now. Anyone have any suggestions?


Hey, I wrote this entry for the new, shiny Girl Talk Thursday, even though it is totally not Thursday anymore! Come join the conversation:

Girl Talk Thursday Friday: girltime

The topic for this week's Girl Talk is What You Do With Your Chick Friends. And it made me go, "....Oh, crap. I am possibly a terrible friend to my chick friends."

Which is just My Hilarious Social Anxiety talking, mostly, I'm sure. It's not that I don't see my chick friends, or that I never talk to the ones who live out of town! Just, most of my chick friends Do Things. Like take care of their two babies and also do a lot of freelance writing. Or work full-time for an art gallery and also do crazy grad-level work for their Bachelor's degree. Or run around L.A. being awesome and filmmakery and in a different time zone. Or go on tour playing and promoting their music. They're a hard bunch to get ahold of!

Also, girls scare me. Seriously, they intimidate the extra X chromosome out of me. I care a lot more about what they think of me (no offense, guys), so I get all anxious about interacting with them and cope by ignoring them. Because I'm secretly a third grader? Le sigh.

When I do find my girl-nuts and work out scheduling issues and hang out with chick friends, I feel like mostly we do the same things I do with my dude friends? Except maybe gossip/perv about boys a little bit more while we're doing them? Here are some of my favorite girltime activities:

Ladies who brunch/lunch/dinner/booze: For some reason, food that's terrible for me seems like a better idea around chick friends. And adding tequila or sparkling wine to the mix equals more better giggling and boner stories. In college Don Pablo's was the best place for this, a few years ago I spent a lot of time at Flying Biscuit/Doc Bombay's and this Mexican place out in Tucker, and recently... I haven't done this recently!

Terrible late-night movies on someone's couch: Depending on the tastes of the exact chick friend in question, these will probably be musicals, movies featuring pretty boys who are probably French and/or cross-dressing, or Japanese sex & splatter flicks. Favorite titles include the goofy 2000 production of Jesus Christ Superstar (we usually skip the boring parts where Judas isn't crying or wearing vinyl pants), Transfixed, and Stacy. Recently, True Blood has been rad for this. Again, sparkling wine really only makes this awesomer.

Phone calls while driving: None of these would ever pass the Bechdel test but they're the best way for my nonlocal chick friends and I to catch up with each other. And are possibly the only chick activity I can think of that isn't improved by sparkling wine.

Have I mentioned sparkling wine? My favorite right now is Sofia 'cause you can get it in little Tab-sized cans. That are pink. And come with a pull-out bendy straw.

That's maybe all I can think of? mrr. I miss girltime.

In conclusion, if you're a lady and you've ever pinged me for hangouts/phone calls and I haven't gotten back to you, it's 'cause I'm eight and you seem nice. HOWEVER, I secretly want more hangouts/phone calls with you and am gonna try to put more effort into that soon like nowish. Perhaps I shall start today.


Hey, I wrote this entry for Mommy Melee's Girl Talk Thursday! Come join the conversation:

Girl Talk Thursday: 50 Magical Dollars

I'm kind of all about the retail therapy. I'm also incredibly thrifty most of the time, so it's a very conflicting form of therapy. Usually when I'm buying something shiny to distract/reward myself, I wind up buying things like discounted socks from Sock Dreams, which ships free to US addresses, or a silly bar of chocolate from Whole Foods, or some kind of fancy craft beer, or a few weird-looking comics, or one of the t-shirts that I've been coveting.

In general I'm much more willing to spend on comfort foods/drinks than stuff 'cause I'm kinda a packrat and already have a lot of stuff, and also 'cause the chemicals in, say, chocolate or whisky have a more direct effect on my brain than the chemicals in t-shirts. (I HOPE.) But if I had a magic $50, unless I was having such a bad day that receiving magic monies couldn't dissuade me from wanting heaps of chocolate and whisky, I might go splurge on:

This bikini top. (I'd have to shell out nonmagical money for the bottom & shipping, obviously. And actually I really want this one, but sizes is all sold out, boo.) Have never owned a bikini! You heard me. I generally enjoy being not mostly naked in public, but might begin to make exceptions if a) oceans were involved, and b) my boobs had the support they deserve. And, okay, c) I maybe put down the brownies and did a bunch of crunches first.

The Study in Emerald pendant at the bottom of this page. Neil Gaiman + eldritch horror + Black Phoenix = ultimate geek attack. And I have very few pieces of jewelry that make people go "WTF DUDE." I'd like to add to my wtf collection.

This laptop skin, for the Dell Mini 12 I just ordered yesterday. (First laptop ever! Portable Intarwebs! So excited!) I am vaguely aware that I may be outing myself as a 20-something indie chick cliché, but guys, octopi and cake are two of my favorite things. And they could both live on my laptop! Netbook. Whatever the kids on the street are calling them in these, our modern times.


I feel compelled to tell you that my birthday is coming up on May 29th.


I wrote this entry for Mommy Melee's Girl Talk Thursday! Come join the conversation:

Girl Talk Thursday Friday: Community

The Internet really weirds me out sometimes. And, I mean, I've been active in various online communities since the turn of the millennium -- first on forums & bulletin boards for X-Philes, anime fans, and webcomics like PvP, and then for years on Livejournal, and then occasionally and half-assedly on MySpace and Facebook, and now here. And "here" is a strange concept, but I think that the bloglands are the best of all iterations of Internet community so far -- just like in meatspace, everyone has a façade to maintain and a responsibility to build real, intelligent content up all around it, all through it. We bloggers are entertainers, educators, reporters, and exhibitionists of the human condition. I have, at times, felt more connected to people who I'd only ever read about than those who were within shouting distance.

If you've been online for any amount of time, I'm sure you've felt that too. To follow someone's blog is to live their life vicariously and in real time. And if the writer has enough talent with words and experience, enough wit and humor, it is so, so easy to celebrate their victories and mourn their losses as though they were your own.

A blogger named Heather Sophr lost her little girl on Tuesday. Maddie had been born prematurely and been in and out of the hospital several times, but was basically a happy and healthy 17-month-old. Heather's posts from last week demonstrate that no one suspected anything was wrong -- she wrote about ice cream, about raising funds for her upcoming March of Dimes walk, and about Maddie having a bit of a cold that she'd need, as always, to go see a doctor about. A friend of Heather's made the post Tuesday morning: Maddie's cold had created complications, and she had passed away.

The response has been huge. In less than 48 hours, Heather's March of Dimes fundraiser has jumped (leapt, flown, rocketed like a puppy with roller skates and a jet pack) from a bit over $2,000 to a bit over $20,000. People have been putting up online memorials, making pledges to walk in their local March of Dimes events, and making plans to attend Maddie's funeral in L.A. Most of these people were not family members or friends or even particularly dedicated fans -- Heather's blog readership was strong but modest. She wasn't a superstar, but she had nudged something in people, just enough that those people had maybe told their friends or mothers about this little girl they'd read about -- this slight, sorta awkward baby girl, with smiles and solemnity as intense as only a child can manage, with the biggest, bluest eyes -- that when she died, hundreds upon hundreds of people heard, and remembered, and wanted to do something.

I hear news reports sometimes that make the Internet sound like some kind of cesspool, some den of sin, some dimly lit and dangerous place. And I suppose some parts of the Internet are like that -- some parts of any human community are. But other parts -- more parts than you'll ever have time to explore -- are bright, beautiful, and populated by people who only want to learn, to laugh, and to help where they can. And it does weird me out, this world of hour-long trends, sudden celebrities, and mass followings of niche interests. It's a weird sort of community, and more like magic than anything else I've seen.

Girl Talk Thursday: Twilight

What you should understand before you read my opinions about Twilight is that what I do for a living is critically analyze the way that writers have put together words and concepts, and then offer suggestions for improvement. This makes enjoying the Twilight series difficult for me, honestly, because the narrator thinks in purple prose and most of the characters act like 40-something Mormon ladies that have been forcibly stuffed into glittery/furry skins.

These aren't errors, per se, and I understand that being a slightly unromantic 26 year old, I'm not quite in the demographic that this sort of thing is meant to appeal to. But as an editor it kills me that no one ever found some chocolates and some tissues, took Meyer gently by the shoulders, and suggested that perhaps the series would read less like a self-indulgent personal fantasy and more like a real story if she just wrote it in the 3rd person.

I offer, as evidence, the Twilight movie! I'm not saying it's high-quality cinema -- I'd place it somewhere between Bring It On and Josie and the Pussycats on a list of films I probably wouldn't publicly admit to enjoying (nobody reads this blog, right?). But it's cute and sweet, and has genuinely intentionally funny moments, and the actors bring out Bella & Edward's desperate and stifled attraction. Not having to look at everything through Bella's mopey, self-deprecating head makes everything approximately 219% more realistic and sympathetic.

All that being said, yes I read all 4 books as quickly as I could get ahold of them, and talked to everyone including people who didn't care about what this and that character had said and done, and went and saw the movie on opening weekend with my best chick friend. Partially 'cause I wanted to know what all the fuss was about, partially 'cause I like keeping up with trends in youth lit and expressing righteous indignation about trends I dislike, and partially 'cause somehow, something about Meyer's story grabbed me by the ovaries and wouldn't let go. In a fun way, not in a creepy supernatural fetus way.


[I wrote about this for Mommy Melee's Girl Talk Thursday! From what I understand you can clicky the thing and read other ladies' opinions about this and other girl topics! And pass me a margarita while you're at it? Go Team Margarita Girl!]